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For a woman who's been cheated on.

When will waking up feeling like shit about yourself end?
When will the dieting and fixing your hair perfectly make you feel better about yourself?
When will comparing yourself to other women stop?
When will crying about it stop?
How can you open up about your insecurities to the man you love, the one who shattered your heart?


Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 10:32 AM on Jul. 5, 2011 in Relationships

Answers (10)
  • Everyone is different, but for me it took years and it's still hard to trust at times. Good luck (c:
    scout_mom

    Answer by scout_mom at 10:34 AM on Jul. 5, 2011

  • hugs

    rebel07

    Answer by rebel07 at 10:35 AM on Jul. 5, 2011

  • They stop when you understand it had nothing to do with you, your looks or anything else. It stops when you look in the mirror and understand you deserve a better man and kick him out. It stops when you ask yourself why you would want to be with someone who wold disrespect you in such a way.
    gemgem

    Answer by gemgem at 10:35 AM on Jul. 5, 2011

  • Can I ask why you decided to stay with him after he cheated? I'm not trying to be rude, I 've just never understood why, or how, you can bare to be with someone who was unfaithful. I understand, though, ever situation is different. Sometimes its a one night "oops", sometimes its a long term love affair, sometimes its just an emotional affair. What makes you stay after you found out??
    mlmkjw

    Answer by mlmkjw at 10:38 AM on Jul. 5, 2011

  • It's been three years and I have finally stopped crying. We are in a really good place now. We are happy and I trust him again. I can offically say I am over the hurt, the anger, the bitterness. I will always have the scar but I've let the hurt go.

    Like I said, it has taken me about three years, but it's better. Much better. Hang on and you'll get there, too.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:38 AM on Jul. 5, 2011

  • It can take awhile to realize it's THEIR issue, NOT YOURS. I tried to forgive when it happened to me, but I just couldn't forget, and it ended up tearing us apart. It's AMAZING how we take that on ourselves as if WE did something wrong. Give yourself time to accept that this is NOT YOUR FAULT. You DESERVE better than this. You deserve to be able to trust and have someone who deserves that trust. Give it some time, mama. Hugs!
    musicpisces

    Answer by musicpisces at 10:40 AM on Jul. 5, 2011

  • I think it stops when you find someone who is really worthy of trust. Someone who treats you right. Doesn't make you feel insecure. Doesn't compare you to other women. Doesn't come home late. Doesn't make up stories. Doesn't act shady...

    I'm thankful I have a husband who never makes me worry or cry. The sad part is when women deny the obvious red flags and get in a serious relationship (or stay) with a loser. That only sets you up for heartache. I married "the nice guy" and I don't regret it!
    fireeyes81

    Answer by fireeyes81 at 10:41 AM on Jul. 5, 2011

  • It stops when you realize that you deserve better than someone lying to you. Cheating is lying. It doesn't take someone else to make you worthy. You have to love yourself first. You have to want to wake up everyday and tell yourself that you deserve the best that life offers, and you will get it! In time, you will beleive that too. I tried to 'work things out' with my cheating ex. it didn't work. he didn't change. I came to terms with the fact that it was HIM, not me that was the problem. I havn't regreted my decision, not even once, to leave him. I was truely happy in my own shoes, and then i found my husband a couple years later. And i got the life and love that i deserve. But i had to like, and love, myself first. I litterally made a list to remind myself what i wanted in life, in a partner, and in general...and what i will not 'put up with' either. If something or someone was a 'red flag' on my list, i dropped it/them!
    boobarandbell

    Answer by boobarandbell at 10:53 AM on Jul. 5, 2011

  • When will waking up feeling like shit about yourself end? When you realize it wasn't about you. Your husband didn't cheat because of you...he cheated because of himself and his own flaws.

    When will the dieting and fixing your hair perfectly make you feel better about yourself? Again when you realize it wasn't about you or your appearance.

    When will comparing yourself to other women stop? Once again, when you realize it was not about you.

    When will crying about it stop? When you decide to stop letting it have control over your life.

    How can you open up about your insecurities to the man you love, the one who shattered your heart? You might not be able to ever. He changed your relationship when he cheated.




    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:02 AM on Jul. 5, 2011

  • When you realize that you deserve so much better. It's not about you... it's about your hubby/ bf being selfish and insecure. Every woman heals at different paces... you'll move on when you're ready to :)

    Hang in there hun *hug*
    RigPrincess85

    Answer by RigPrincess85 at 12:14 PM on Jul. 5, 2011

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