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5 Bumps

Why is it so hard for men to communicate?

When something goes wrong in his life he just shuts down and isolate himself from people. Especially ME! I'm left in the dark and he sits on what's bothering him for days and when he is ready to talk he blows my phone up. But when I try to talk to him he just ignores the hell out of me. Did I mention he would stand me up and not call or text to tell me that he can't make it. I'm so frustrated because I am not the type of person to sit around and let things build up. I would rather talk about it and work on it because build-ups tend to lead to hugh blow-ups which are never good.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 10:54 AM on Jul. 5, 2011 in Relationships

Answers (11)
  • I will give you a very simple answer to this question....because they are men!
    AF4life

    Answer by AF4life at 10:55 AM on Jul. 5, 2011

  • Your question should be why is it so hard for your husband to communicate. My husband communicates just fine but I knew he would since we had a long term relationship before marriage. You both are different people and will have to learn to work with those differences.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:56 AM on Jul. 5, 2011

  • I am more than willing to work with our differences but I find it very rude to just flat out ignore a person that you claim to love for days.
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 11:02 AM on Jul. 5, 2011

  • Men do communicate, just not like women do. Have you ever heard of a pastor named Mark Gungor? He does marriage seminars and goes in depth on this issue. He has a website, look him up, we went and saw him and purchased his dvds. They are spendy, but it really helped up "understand" each other better, we go back and watch every now and them, matter of fact today is probably a good day for us to do that lol He doesn't preech to you AT ALL, he just so happens to be a pastor as well. He's awesome, GL to you.
    yesmaam

    Answer by yesmaam at 11:07 AM on Jul. 5, 2011

  • I wish I knew.
    pookiekins34

    Answer by pookiekins34 at 11:10 AM on Jul. 5, 2011

  • he sounds passive aggressive. i used to be this way big time. then i stopped, now i confess to what's wrong right when it happens..doesn't always turn out pretty still but at least im not festering it all inside for days. most men DON'T communicate your right, im still trying to figure it all out myself
    lizzybee44

    Answer by lizzybee44 at 11:17 AM on Jul. 5, 2011

  • The problems your SO has communicating does not sound gender related. I've known women who do that too. They keep quiet and then finally explode. I think that comes from at first thinking they don't have a real case to complain, but are bothered anyway. Then as time goes on they get more and more pissed thinking about what made them mad. You ask what's wrong. The other person says "nothing" but is distant and quiet leaving you puzzled at what you did wrong. Them WHAM. It all comes out in a big explosion of anger.

    Classic passive/aggressive. I think it's mean and manipulative. I hate it and I won't do it to my husband and he has not done that to me.
    kathyartist2007

    Answer by kathyartist2007 at 11:21 AM on Jul. 5, 2011

  • oh wow mark gungor is helpful he said men have boxes that never touch in their brains whereas women have all these wires connected in the brain. then he goes on to say men even have a nothing box which is where men go when they aren't communicating (so it seems)
    here's a clip
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0BxckAMaTDc
    lizzybee44

    Answer by lizzybee44 at 11:26 AM on Jul. 5, 2011

  • Sometimes I have this problem and sometimes you have to let it go its hard to talk about something when its right there and your not sure what to say sometimes its easier to let it sit for a while maybe he isn't yet to the talking phase and you are maybe he should say hey I am unable to talk about it right now and set another time to talk about it .
    pinkdragon36

    Answer by pinkdragon36 at 11:26 AM on Jul. 5, 2011

  • sounds like my sooon to be ex hubby.... get this figured out asap or kiss it good by!
    Liveatmo

    Answer by Liveatmo at 2:36 PM on Jul. 5, 2011

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