Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

6 Bumps

What would you do ? How could you just "let it go" ?

My Sil ( my husbands sister) was in a car accident with her husband , a car hit their car, killing her husband and causing her a miscarriage ( they had two other children and thank God they were not with them -- they were just coming back from a date night) ...

She is actually holding up ok, just trying to figure out how to piece her life back together and move on with her surviving children.

The car that hit them had 3 teens in it, 2 boys and a girl, the boy that was driving was 18, the other boy was 17, and the girl was 16, all of them were drunk.

As of right now no charges has been filed but the driver ( 18 year old ) was contacted and basically told that he will be in trouble for it, upon this happening his family has been trying to reach out to my SIL so she can make them take it easy on him , ARE YOU KIDDING ME ? Trying to get the person who's life is destroyed to have sympathy for the person who caused it ?

Ok so, they are trying to say he is so young and why ruin his life for a child mistake, well my SIL is only 4 years older than him, her husband was only 6 years older than him, they still had their lives ahead of them too and what about the baby, she had an ultrasound the week before and the baby was completely healthy - but about him he had his whole ahead of him too ! When SIL was 18 she was already married, had their first child and bought a home, she certainly wasnt out drinking and driving ( she doesnt drink , even now) and this guys family is trying to make her think that all "kids" his age do this ...

Even at the funeral they sent flowers with a card that had some sort of quote about how God only takes people when it is there time to go...

It is unbelieveable ! My SIl doesnt want to talk about it, but the rest of her family sure as hell hopes this LEGAL ADULT gets what is coming to him !

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 11:20 AM on Jul. 5, 2011 in Parenting Debate

Answers (29)
  • I would be furious if I were her! I get them worrying about their son, but this is just ridiculous. If it were my child that was dumb enough to do something like that, I would make him face the full consequence like a man! Charges need to be filed, he needs to be charged with vehicular manslaughter (not sure if they can charge him with anything related to the baby, unfortunately). I am so sorry for your family! I will pray for you! I hope that kid gets the full weight of the punishment!
    AF4life

    Answer by AF4life at 11:24 AM on Jul. 5, 2011

  • Wow...I'm so sorry!
    I'd be using the fact that they're trying to get her to go easy on them as part of my defense against THEM! How dare they?!
    And NO WAY do all kids this age drink and/or drive! They were old enough to understand the consequences of their actions and they should have to pay for those decisions. My God! LIVES were taken! They act like they hit a dog or something!
    butterflyblue19

    Answer by butterflyblue19 at 11:25 AM on Jul. 5, 2011

  • Sooo sorry, I do hope that justice is served.
    Kimedbs

    Answer by Kimedbs at 11:25 AM on Jul. 5, 2011

  • I don't know how I feel, it's tough. I wouldn't want to ruin his life either. It's not going to bring her husband back. But I understand wanting to get back at him. Is it really up to her? Was he arrested for drunk driving? Does she have to press charges, or is it a police matter? Honestly, I think I would let it go. Lives have already been ruined, enough is enough. But I'm soft like that.
    mompam

    Answer by mompam at 11:26 AM on Jul. 5, 2011

  • So sorry for the loss.
    pookiekins34

    Answer by pookiekins34 at 11:27 AM on Jul. 5, 2011

  • The police are going to charge him ( not sure with what) .. they said they had to do an investigation... i am not sure why they were not arrested because they were all way over the legal limit. But in cases like this sometimes the person the crime has affected can make a statement asking the judge to go easy on the criminal ... that is what his family wants her to do- go in front of a judge and say that she doesnt want this guy to go to jail.
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 11:31 AM on Jul. 5, 2011

  • I don't think I could just let it go, but she may just be trying to forget about it. I couldn't imagine being in her position.
    KolaT

    Answer by KolaT at 11:32 AM on Jul. 5, 2011

  • If they felt they were grown up enough to drink they should be adult enough to take responsible for their actions. I think a minimum of 10 years in prison for all is a good thing. When they get out they should be banned from driving for life they can buy a bus pass. We need to get harsher on drunk drivers even the teens.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:36 AM on Jul. 5, 2011

  • I'm so sorry. I don't think I could "let it go".
    .MhacFoirfe.

    Answer by .MhacFoirfe. at 11:36 AM on Jul. 5, 2011

  • they should charge him with 2 counts of manslaughter. anyone else they would!!!!!
    Alysia_Moore

    Answer by Alysia_Moore at 11:38 AM on Jul. 5, 2011

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.