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3 Bumps

What are some of your secrets to a happy marriage?

I have been married 21 years and I have to say that trust and respect for one another and having a strong faith in God is key for us. Anytime my husband has wanted to go on trips with his buddies, (he loved to travel the NASCAR circuit with his friend) or go on Fishing trips to Canada with his friends he always had my blessing. I feel you still need to have your own time away from your spouse now and then and some of your own interests. He has always had no problem with me traveling or going out with my friends too. I think it takes a lot of love and trust to do that. But we also enjoy spending our time together too and are very family orientated. Another important thing is your husband being not only your lover, but your friend too. I consider my husband my best friend.

Answer Question
 
maggiebgood

Asked by maggiebgood at 11:41 AM on Jul. 5, 2011 in Relationships

Level 14 (1,514 Credits)
Answers (15)
  • Communication, trust
    Dahis

    Answer by Dahis at 11:42 AM on Jul. 5, 2011

  • Trust, communication, respect, and a good Religious foundation always helps.
    pookiekins34

    Answer by pookiekins34 at 11:43 AM on Jul. 5, 2011

  • We're not married yet... but we've always had a great relationship because we make sure to communicate with eachother when we're upset, sad, happy whatever it may be and we NEVER go to bed angry or upset with one another. We don't like to be apart from one another and we generally have enough time away from one another when he and I are at work... but once we're home together we spend all the time together lol.
    RigPrincess85

    Answer by RigPrincess85 at 11:44 AM on Jul. 5, 2011

  • Throw the fairy tale dreams of "happily ever after" out the window. Never expect your husband to be someone he is not. Never compare him to other men. Always be willing to give more than you expect to receive. Make it your goal to see to it that your spouse becomes the best person he can be and make his success your goal. Learn to listen "between the lines" so that you know what bothers your husband(this is necessary because he will seldom tell you directly). When you have to confront, always do it with the utmost respect and do not allow yourself to sound accusatory or anger.
    NannyB.

    Answer by NannyB. at 11:45 AM on Jul. 5, 2011

  • Great advice NannyB
    maggiebgood

    Comment by maggiebgood (original poster) at 11:49 AM on Jul. 5, 2011

  • Quoting NannyB: "Throw the fairy tale dreams of "happily ever after" out the window. Never expect your husband to be someone he is not. Never compare him to other men. Always be willing to give more than you expect to receive. Make it your goal to see to it that your spouse becomes the best person he can be and make his success your goal. Learn to listen "between the lines" so that you know what bothers your husband(this is necessary because he will seldom tell you directly). When you have to confront, always do it with the utmost respect and do not allow yourself to sound accusatory or anger."

    I've only been married for almost 2 years but this is what I strive for. I'm not perfect, but trying!
    kathyartist2007

    Answer by kathyartist2007 at 11:49 AM on Jul. 5, 2011

  • Letting the little crap go. He forgot to take out the trash? Whatever- I do that too. Came home late from work because he was talking to some friends? It wasn't so bad having an extra hour to myself since we spend the rest of our time together. He didn't say I looked nice today even though I put in the effort? Doesn't have to because I know he loves me and is still attracted to me. Has friends that are girls and are flirty? Good, give him some practice and let him get worked up so he can come home to me. Spent $400 on an android tablet? Ok, that kind of annoys me but he hasn't bought himself anything in a while.

    Just some examples. Just let the little things go. And as for the big things- don't get defensive and don't put them in a situation where they need to be defensive. TALK, don't yell- even if you want to.
    meandrphoto

    Answer by meandrphoto at 11:57 AM on Jul. 5, 2011

  • Taking each other for who we are, where we are. Trust, communication and growing with each other not away from each other. Never let minor disagreements turn into major ones.
    Bubbie0809

    Answer by Bubbie0809 at 12:12 PM on Jul. 5, 2011

  • Communication, Trust, Never go to bed mad, LISTEN to each other, understand and try to be agreeable, say to yourself each day "What can I do today to make my partner feel loved, wanted and validated?"!
    isismoon3

    Answer by isismoon3 at 12:22 PM on Jul. 5, 2011

  • Kiss goodbye everyday as you are going out the door and remember to tell each other "I love you" whenever you get the chance, even if it is for no reason and written on a foggy mirror in the bathroom!
    Listen and respect each other's ideas and wishes.. even if they are really dumb sounding try to understand their way of thinking
    zoejains_momma

    Answer by zoejains_momma at 12:24 PM on Jul. 5, 2011

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