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how do i handle the fact that my husband and my son dont see eye to eye anymore

my son is 13 an from my first marriage, my husband of 7months no longer get along as they used to. They would hang out, play around, give eachother hugs b4 bed and say i love you know they dnt even stay in the same room. my husband blames my son for everthing. If he doesnt clean his room then my husband wants me to ground him and take away my sons phone. it has gotten so out of hand and i dnt know wht to do anymore??

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 11:22 AM on Dec. 16, 2008 in Teens (13-17)

Answers (6)
  • Did your dh suddenly try to take a more parental role from a friend role? I was a teen when my parents both remarried and my stepmom was all I know you have a mom and I just want to be a friend and as soon as she moved in and her and my dad got married she took over all "I'm in charge here!" I hated her for it, I was 16 and had taken care of my dad and siblings for a year after mom moved out and her suddenly coming in and taking "my role" really pi$$ed me off. On top of that she had 4 kids and pawned them off on me all the time. Even though your son is 13 if he has been the "man of the house" for a long time that could be their problem, on the other hand he is still only 13 and this new man has "taken his mommy" .
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:50 AM on Dec. 16, 2008

  • CONT....
    We also learned that giving up on my 15 yr olds room being clean greatly reduced the battles! I just shut the door and don't go in for anything, laundry included, if he wants it washed he needs to bring it down to the washer and if he wants friends over his room needs to be cleaned, other than that I don't see it I don't care!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:51 AM on Dec. 16, 2008

  • Oh that is hard. Well, maybe you guys should sit down and talk as a family. Maybe your son thinks that he doesnt need to listen or follows your husband's rules because he isnt his dad. I have a step son, too and he is almost 12.
    aznblond9

    Answer by aznblond9 at 2:31 PM on Dec. 16, 2008

  • I agree with aznblond9 - I think ya'll should all sit down together and discuss what happened and why the sudden change. There might be a big argument that you don't know about. That needs to be solved.
    CourtneyAnn8690

    Answer by CourtneyAnn8690 at 5:36 PM on Dec. 16, 2008

  • well i agree you guys need to sit down and talk as a family and if his dad is still in the picture you should include him in this family sit down as more reassurance that step dad isnt trying to replace dad and also ur son will feel like he has an alai going in to the talk and i hate to say this but as a mom your sons feelings come first and you need to do whats right by your son, if he has a legimate issue with step dad i hate to say it but you may need to give in to son (i mean cleary if this is just teenage rebelion no by on means dont give in lol)
    mommie2twogirls

    Answer by mommie2twogirls at 12:27 PM on Dec. 17, 2008

  • I am sorry you are going thru this. i had the same problem with my son and my bf of 2 yrs. its a very stressful situation for you the mother. i finally could not take it anymore and moved to a new town. me and the bf are still together. but 100 miles away.. so when w do see each other its not as stressful. told bf we could not be together if he didnt get help. it is working so far.. only been a couple months. but like i said sorry you are going thru this..
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:59 PM on Dec. 17, 2008

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