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Did he really....

I dont know what to do right now. See SO works a lot & hard so I dont ask him to do too much when home. I do ask him to do some things like clean up your own dirty dishes, clean out the tub when your done & its a mess, etc. Things of that nature.

Now SO shrimps in the winter time for about three months. He sells it on the side of the road out of the truck. This means we have things for the shrimping bussiness & it gets dirty. I asked & begged him to keep up on cleaning it throught he winter. I dont do it bc well its not apart of my job, he is laid off during this time & he takes it on as his job, he wouldnt slack if he were working for someone.

Well we had huge issues over it this past winter he didnt keep on top of it too much which made me mad. Shrimp smells something awful & the juice gets on everything & makes it all smell to high heaven. He would do things like wait the next morning to clean it up so it sits all night smelling & getting stained on to stuff, gross!

At the end of the season he packed everything up into a tote. Now you would assume it was all cleaned up right. Its been sitting in there for or since Feb/Mar. We just moved at the end of March & a bunch of totes got tossed into a storage area for a bit. I got all of our stuff that needed to be out of the way & brought it over to our place to be sorted & cleaned up & organized to go back into storage, into our house or donated, whatever.

I just opened up a random tote (not labeled) & there is his shirmp gear, stained & smelling. Really!? The first thing on the top was one of my good cake/cookie tupperware containers that he stole to use for the shrimp all nasty, I tossed it right into the trash. He has all kinds of stuff in there a scale, scoop, boxes of plastic bags, & who know what else.

My big problem right now is what to do. He is at work & I just had a fight with him over the phone about it. He says he'll do it asap, well in the past & up until even the last task I asked him to do asap means whenever the hell I want to which could be from a days time to more then a years time & if I ask (aka nag in his eyes) then he gets upset & we fight.

Now either I can take his word & give him a chance to do it asap (he works the next five days too) or I can do it myself. I told him on the phone that I will look at the tote but if it gets to be too much I will not hesitate to take it over to the dumpster & dump the entire tote itself into the bin without a second thought.

Should I clean it or give him the chance to do it? I feel like I am nagging at a child here this is just ugh over the line some things are fine to be let go & linger but shrimp/fish juice all over items & stuffed into an enclosed tote NOT OKAY in my opinion at least. Thanks for the vent ladies.


Asked by Mel30248 at 12:46 PM on Jul. 5, 2011 in Relationships

Level 26 (25,898 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (7)
  • I think men have the mindset that "the mess isn't hurting anything, so it can wait until tomorrow"... which I have never understood either. Chores and cleaning became a problem at our house too because my husband would either wait to something until the last minute, or would do it "half assed" and I'd have to do it anyway. So now we both have specific chores, he always takes out the trash and does grocery shopping and I always do the laundry.

    My recommendation is that you give him a chance to clean it himself, maybe set it somewhere obvious where he can't forget about it, and he can take care of it "ASAP"... I know men feel like we're nagging, but it sucks cleaning up after children, let alone an adult man who can do it himself!

    Answer by 1st_time_mom23 at 1:00 PM on Jul. 5, 2011

  • Don't clean it. That is part of HIS job.

    Answer by pookiekins34 at 12:55 PM on Jul. 5, 2011

  • Take the tote, hid it outside somewhere. If he comes home looking for it to clean it, tell him where it is and say you moved it because it stunk. If he comes home and doesn't say/do anything about it, toss it.

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:55 PM on Jul. 5, 2011

  • Poor momma :) I hate that word, nag, I think its on the top of my list even above all the nasty names I could be called lol I don't know why it bugs me so much, I guess when DH used to say it, it made me feel like I was nothing but a pest.....But anywhow, if you want honesty, this is exactly what I see myself doing in that situation. I'd throw the shit away, feel great about it as I'm doing it b/c it would allow me to de-vent. Sit on my butt for an hour, then start crying feel like crap and clean it up lol Rediculous I know, but true. So maybe if you know you'll end up doing it anyways.....I'm not saying give in, but I don't know what you're going through either. I know a tiny bag of shrimp from the store stinks up the trash can, so I can only imagine all that equipment! Can he rent a storage unit that he can put it in that is on the way home from wherever he comes from, that way it never comes home? GL to you.

    Answer by yesmaam at 12:58 PM on Jul. 5, 2011

  • Thanks ladies, I will text him & tell him I cooled down & give him the chance to clean it. While I wait which I am sure will take at least a week if he even gets to it maybe I will snag one thing at a time here & there & clean it up. That way if I do one thing a day or something it wont be so overwhelming. I dont want to throw away the stuff but it makes me mad that he simply couldnt take care of it in the first place.

    To the lady who said that men have the mind set of its not hurting anyone they totally do. SO will even say well its not hurting anyone! Really!? It annoys me when he says something of the sort or cleaims that its his stuff & he will do as he pleases with it!!!!!

    Comment by Mel30248 (original poster) at 1:12 PM on Jul. 5, 2011

  • i'd trash it- but seeing that he needs it for work, you cant or else you'd be outta money. lol do it together. make it kind of fun for him to do it. kinda like a kid... but he kinda is acting like a kid. =/

    Answer by Shy_Dia at 1:39 PM on Jul. 5, 2011

  • DON'T TOUCH IT!!! Put that tote somewhere in his way so he has to either inconvenience himself by walking around/over it, or take care of it like he said he would. Then, as the days roll by and he STILL ignores it, stop doing his laundry, stop fixing his meals, stop doing all the little niceties that he expects. When he tries to gripe about YOUR lack, calmly tell him you'll do your normal chores for HIM when he cleans that nasty, smelly, disgusting shrimp stuff.

    People treat you the way you TEACH then to treat you. Your husband (and mine) has learned that if he ignores something long enough someone else will do it for him. My husband's lame excuse is that he was the youngest of 5 for 13 years. If he ignored things long enough one of his older siblings, or parents, would do it for him. That doesn't fly real well with me. Needless to say it's an ongoing battle in my house.

    Answer by Rosehawk at 1:45 PM on Jul. 5, 2011