Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

2 Bumps

Did anyone stay w your husband after he cheated once? Are you happy now that you did or wish you would have left?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 1:35 PM on Jul. 5, 2011 in Relationships

Answers (15)
  • He never cheated, and I dn't know what my decision would be if he did. Good luck.

    Answer by pookiekins34 at 1:37 PM on Jul. 5, 2011

  • I have and it took a long time to get over the hurt, but I'm glad I stayed.

    Answer by scout_mom at 1:37 PM on Jul. 5, 2011

  • Yesterday I found out my husband cheated on me. He didn't engage in a physical relationship but there was a lot of text messages, heavy flirting, pet name calling, etc, but it still feels as if he cheated. I am still struggling with what to do. As of right now, my decision is to stay. He says its over and he's not going to do it anymore. Since he denied the physical relationship part and there's no way to prove it, then I would have had doubts about leavin him when nothing physical might have happened. So I have decided to give him one more chance. If it happens again, I'm gone. But if I didn't ive him one more chance I would always have wondered. I'm curious to know if this has happened to you personally or if you're asking for someone else. If it did happen to you, I would love to know how you handle it. Maybe we can help each other

    Answer by Bluebird8874 at 1:41 PM on Jul. 5, 2011

  • My hurt is still way too fresh to feel like I've done the right thing. My situation might be different, though. I found text messages that seemed to clearly indicate cheating with his old girlfriend (who is also married), but he says all it was was text messages. I am not okay with even the messages and the disgusting things they were saying to each other while I was in the hospital delivering our baby. I am having a hard time dealing with all this. I'm on my effin maternity leave, how do I just pack up and leave with our kids right now? And on the other hand, how do I become "okay" with the things I read? It is a MISERABLE position to be in, and it is terrible that they so thoughtlessly put us in this position.

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:47 PM on Jul. 5, 2011

  • Wow bluebird...we have very similar stories at the moment!

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:48 PM on Jul. 5, 2011

  • Yes we do! I cannot even imagine going through this while having a brand new baby. Can I ask what made you go through his text messages? I usually try not to snoop, but I could tell something was going on because lately he has been glued to his phone. From the minute he walked in the house until he was asleep. He kept saying it was one of his guy friends, but I was still suspicious.

    Answer by Bluebird8874 at 1:53 PM on Jul. 5, 2011

  • Well for me I'll try to make it short, after our daughter was born I had postpartum. I was a sahm and took him for granted. Was plain miserable. No sex, gained weight, lazy, didn't want to go anywhere w him, called him useless no affection, you name it. So when we he started being distant and coming home late I knew something wasn't right. After the holidays he blew up. He said he wasn't happy. I never wanted to visit his patents it was always about my family. So when he cheated, I kind of understood why. Crazy as it sounds it all hit me at once. Now I know thAt my actions caused him to cheat. I know that he is wrong, but I felt kind of wrong too. I can't lie I love him, he is a hard worker, provides for us and not to mention is the absolute best lover ever. Every time I think about ,leaving , if we have sex, my mind quickly changes. Crazy as it sounds it just takes control of me! Why let someone else have him? If I leave,

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 2:03 PM on Jul. 5, 2011

  • He will just go be with someone else. "I" am his wife, the other girl was just used and abused to gat back at me. She is the one who will always be the whore and 2nd. As of now he has ended it as far as I know. I found out from his phone bill and he admitted it. He couldnt lie, i saw the texts and calls. But he wasn't honest about who she was. I still don't know he she is. As of now, things are good with us, but if I find out again, I will have to force him to leave and our house will have to be sold. I believe we all deserve a 2nd chance. We're all human.

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 2:08 PM on Jul. 5, 2011

  • I think that is really something you have decide and maybe place some changes in your lives to ensure it does not happen again. Good luck!

    Answer by 2boysnaprincess at 2:39 PM on Jul. 5, 2011

  • That is pretty much the same thing that happened to us! I got lazy in our relationship and took it for granted because I thought he would never leave me. We had this big blow up and things started to get better and then we fought again and while things were getting better (I thought) he starts up with this girl at work. Since I found the texts, he said that she was giving him attention when I wasn't and I now believe that he was using her to get back at me. He even told me that he wanted me to find out about her. I asked a question about this yesterday and every answer was about needing to leave him and not trust him. After I read the answers, I started getting doubts about him and when I confronted him again, he told me he would move out. But that's not what I want at all! So I am giving him another chance. I am so glad you tolf your story because yours is the first I've read that doesn't make me doubt, it gives me hope

    Answer by Bluebird8874 at 3:28 PM on Jul. 5, 2011

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.