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2 Bumps

Update on hubby new friend... after snooping

I looked on his fb page and emails and havent found anything incriminating, as of yet anyway, he added her about a month ago. no emails between them and no comments on each other's wall. she claims to be married to a woman, but where im at thats what single females who are friends do.

you think i could of been over-reacting to all of this? i have yet to see the texts. even after spying his fb i still find it hard to trust her, i just have that gut instinct that something isnt right. thoughts?


my other question
http://www.cafemom.com/answers/904675/Should_i_be_worried_about_hubbys_new_friend

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 4:12 PM on Jul. 5, 2011 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (12)
  • I've been in a similar situation lately and other women have said to me when your dh gets defensive, it usually means he has something to hide. When I found innapropriate texts from a co-worker on his phone and confronted him, he did not even get mad at me for snooping. He said part of him wanted to get caught. But he gets defensive everytime I ask if anything more happened than texts. I say go with your gut. Instincts are usually never wrong. They might be partially wrong, but theyare there for a reason. So this woman is "married" to a woman. Whether she is a lesbian or not, if their friendship makes you uncomfortable, you should talk to him about it again. He is married to you and should value and respect your opinion on his friendships.
    Bluebird8874

    Answer by Bluebird8874 at 4:31 PM on Jul. 5, 2011

  • Go with your gut.
    pookiekins34

    Answer by pookiekins34 at 4:15 PM on Jul. 5, 2011

  • OMG,, just stop looking up on him,, I am on facebook and have people who are unmarried, gay, bi- and everything else as my friends,, just trust your husband.
    kimigogo

    Answer by kimigogo at 4:13 PM on Jul. 5, 2011

  • WOW!!! He has a female friend on Facebook. Who cares. If you trust your man it shouldn't matter. If he saw you snooping he will be extremely pissed and then he wont trust you. Back off a little
    Eisleysmommy27

    Answer by Eisleysmommy27 at 4:17 PM on Jul. 5, 2011

  • to kimigogo, the only reason why i looked is because how defensive my dh was over this woman, how she acted when she came over, and how he accused me of being controlling when i just wanted to know who she is. im sure most women would be leary of any woman that their hubby just met and insisted on spending time with them. I dont snoop on my husband, not until today anyways. they went on a 2 hour walk that should of been only an hour, even when i take my kids to this destination its still a lil over an hour not 2 hours
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 4:21 PM on Jul. 5, 2011

  • this woman lives next door, she constantly watches our house, and she didnt even want to come over to meet me, but i told my husband either i meet her or you are not going on a walk with her. he turned down sex to go for a walk with a co-worker cause she is upset. then her text that i seen this morning of i dont want to meet your wife, why should i. my dh has other female friends on fb that i know of but dont know and dont care to, something about this just didnt seem right.
    so those of you who say i had no business of looking, would you be ok with your husband going for a 2 hour walk with a single co-worker? a woman you know nothing about. my dh has had an affair in the past with another co-worker, it started the same way. we worked through that, at least i thought we did
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 4:29 PM on Jul. 5, 2011

  • I guess what I wanted to say, is that no matter if she takes her clothes off and runs naked through your yard,, it is your HUSBAND,, that you need to trust,, perhaps he has already told her that you have issues with women,, just go knock on her door and introduce yourself to her,, or add her as a friend to facebook,, you will head off any storm that may be brewining if YOU assert yourself.
    kimigogo

    Answer by kimigogo at 9:05 PM on Jul. 5, 2011

  • she has me blocked on fb, i guess she blocked me as soon as she added my dh, i never knew he added her. and she did come over but she just glared at me and refused to talk to me, just rushed my dh out the door. and she is in a gated apartments i cant just say leave him alone. dh has had an affair befre with a co worker and she got pregnant. i managed to make amends with her for that child's sake. i talked to dh again before he went to work again, and he says nothing will happen with this one, but im having a hard time trusting him. i decided to keep him distracted, i volunteered him to be my friends exercise partner, since that was dh's excuse of going with this co-worker. my friend is female and i can trust her. come to find out that my friend and him dated in hs, and im ok with that, cause i know she wont try anything and will refuse his advances.
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 9:14 PM on Jul. 5, 2011

  • This is you husbands issue, and you need to tell him to not have contact with her anymore,, honestly why wait for a facebook message,, he is already giving it to you LOUD and CLEAR!!!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:19 PM on Jul. 5, 2011

  • oh by the way i did tell him i went on his page and his phone, i asked why her text were deleted and ones from other ppl a week ago are still there. he didnt answer but he didnt get mad either.
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 9:22 PM on Jul. 5, 2011

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