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7 Bumps

How do I tell my husband that I no longer want to be the caretaker of his daughter?

I've been taking care of her since she was a baby because the absence of her mother.
I did it to help my husband while he worked. It has been 3 years and we have a child together now.
My husbands ex decided she wants to be a mother now but he doesn't want her living with her mother so I feel like I'm suppose to do this and kinda stuck in the middle. I'm not making him choose between us but I'm lost on what to do?

Answer Question
 
Amony92

Asked by Amony92 at 6:32 PM on Jul. 5, 2011 in General Parenting

Level 4 (32 Credits)
Answers (43)
  • U r the only mom this child has ever known! U need to be in her corner and continue to love her! Personally,Make her go to court and take it from there! U kind of sound like u don't really want the child.
    dancer

    Answer by dancer at 6:35 PM on Jul. 5, 2011

  • WHY????
    dancer

    Answer by dancer at 6:38 PM on Jul. 5, 2011

  • Honestly, the child he has with this other woman is every bit as much his child as the one he has with you. When you marry someone who already has a child, you need to accept them as a packaged deal. By telling him you no longer want to take care of his other child, you are putting him in a bad position, and in a way you are making him choose between her and you. I'm sorry if I sound mean, but that is just wrong. You knew when you married him that he had a child to someone else. If you couldn't handle it, you shouldn't have married him.
    KristyB

    Answer by KristyB at 6:38 PM on Jul. 5, 2011

  • dancer is right. It sounds like now maybe that you have your own child, you don't want his anymore. Even if you are not the caretaker anymore, you will still be apart of this child's life through your husband. Don't make this little girl suffer because you are no longer comfortable raising another woman's child--something you chose you do already.
    keisha613

    Answer by keisha613 at 6:39 PM on Jul. 5, 2011

  • Awe, that poor baby! Great, you now have your own biological child so lets toss this baby out! REALLY! Why did you marry this man, knowing you would be a step-mother? WTF!
    Kathy675

    Answer by Kathy675 at 6:39 PM on Jul. 5, 2011

  • I agree with KristyB
    dancer

    Answer by dancer at 6:39 PM on Jul. 5, 2011

  • No offense,but u sound like an uncaring person!!!
    dancer

    Answer by dancer at 6:41 PM on Jul. 5, 2011

  • I can't get over the fact you call yourself a CARETAKER! What a horrible way to describe your position in her life! You don't deserve her love!
    Kathy675

    Answer by Kathy675 at 6:42 PM on Jul. 5, 2011

  • U r really coldhearted!!!!
    dancer

    Answer by dancer at 6:44 PM on Jul. 5, 2011

  • I'm gonna go with dancer on this one. You're kind of a douche.
    EgoTryptophan

    Answer by EgoTryptophan at 6:45 PM on Jul. 5, 2011

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