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2 Bumps

Can not win for loosing.

I'm so frustrated. My graduate who is 18 still refuses to get a job. Has not been coming home at his curfew time. (he only has a curfew because he has not got a job or a plan) Well he has a plan but tells me he doesn't have to tell me what he plans to do and when. I have taken his phone away hoping he would want one bad enough to go get a job..what happens..his Dad hands him and I-touch that he can text on. He stays up all night playing a video game on the computer. Keeps me and my husband awake all night..and then he sleeps all day until like 3-4pm. So I take away his computer priviledge. What happens? His father gives him a laptop for graduation and tells him..there..now you can stay off your Mom's stuff. GRRR It is not about him using my stuff..its about him being responsible! My husband is so frustrated with my son and my ex that he and I got into a huge fight and almost split up this weekend. (he is tired really from work too so I took it with a grain of salt). I don't know what to do anymore. His stupid father is filling his head that I need to get off his ASS..as he put it to me and so my son is so mean to me. I just want my son to grow up..get his life moving forward..I tell him it is ultimately his choice whatever he does..and he has such great qualities that he is capable of becoming anything he wants..He just puts me down and so does his Dad. but are you kidding..do you think his Dad will let him stay there? grrr What do I do?
What do I do?

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 7:14 PM on Jul. 5, 2011 in Adult Children (18+)

This question is closed.
Answers (9)
  • THROW HIM OUT!!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:15 PM on Jul. 5, 2011

  • Give him a timeline to get a job and/or move out or tell him he'll be getting evicted
    butterflyblue19

    Answer by butterflyblue19 at 7:16 PM on Jul. 5, 2011

  • I was just going to say, his dad needs to take him in then lol Well, I hope he's not using your internet. Try having him buy his own food. Don't give him a key.
    My parents locked my other brother out when they went to work. He wasn't allowed in the house when they were working and he was supposed to get a job.
    BeachyBabe

    Answer by BeachyBabe at 7:26 PM on Jul. 5, 2011

  • Throw his shit on the porch, change the locks and tell DAD to deal with him. If he or dad throws a tantrum, mention everything they've been doing wrong and tell them "tough shit." Dad and brat think they know it all, dad and brat can figure out their problems for themselves.
    purplerobin

    Answer by purplerobin at 9:00 PM on Jul. 5, 2011

  • As hard as it would be, giving him an ultimatum is worth trying. Like previously said on here, a time-line with a severe consequence might just be the answer. Good luck!!!

    Lynne313

    Answer by Lynne313 at 9:05 PM on Jul. 5, 2011

  • take him to his dad's and tell him to deal with it.....tell your son since your dad has the answers you like stay there until you can be a a grown up and see the importance of what i am trying to teach you. change locks on doors and be done...maybe then dad will get the hint.
    southernlady184

    Answer by southernlady184 at 9:06 PM on Jul. 5, 2011

  • yup-except DON'T let him move back in--DAD can figure out how to get him independent now!
    purplerobin

    Answer by purplerobin at 9:11 PM on Jul. 5, 2011

  • You are doing all of the appropriate things. It's you're ex that is sabotaging everything! lol good grief. I think the solution is pretty apparent and I'm sure you have ideas. He is of age. If he doesn't care to help out, contribute to the household in any way or actually be a family and let you in on his plans well it doesn't seem he wants to be there. Lay down the law and ask him to move in with his dad. This is just going to put a wedge in your relationship with ur husband if you don't get this sorted out. Your son probably needs a break from you guys anyway. more than likely he will appreciate spenind time with you once he lives away from you.
    istealcookies

    Answer by istealcookies at 11:23 PM on Jul. 5, 2011

  • Yes thank you ladies. I really appreciate your support and my vent. We figured out that he wants to stay here until fall when his friends leave for college and military and then may be moving in with his father because he did not deny it when my husband asked him. He also finally said to me that he is thinking of the military too. You know it just really hurts me to think of it ending in a way of "kicking him out"! I keep thinking there is a more positive solution. Oh well..I guess we can not control who they decide to become right and maybe just part of the process. So sad that the DOOR is the answer. :( I really pray he chooses the military.
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 10:06 AM on Jul. 6, 2011