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3 Bumps

How do I learn to deal with the stress of hudband's ex?

I have been married for 6 yrs now, and we have custody of my 9 yr old step son. I love him very much and spoil him as if I physically had him. However, I also become very angry with his "incubator". She only picks him up once every month to 2 months, doesn't call very often, sends him to babysitters on her weekends, and he ALWAYS comes home with something wrong. This ranges from stitches, to a knocked out tooth, to impetigo. I feel like my opinion does not matter when it comes to her. I feel like the child I have raised is being neglected when he sees his biological mother, but I am not able to make decsions that anyone will listen too. Not to mention I get irritated with the fact that she does not help pay for school clothes, no child support, no help towards anything. Am I looking at the situation wrong? Any advice is greatly appreciated.

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 8:58 PM on Jul. 5, 2011 in General Parenting

Answers (5)
  • Just be glad he is in your care most of the time. And in the future he will look to you instead of her. Unfortunately you have no say unless she signs off on him and you adopt him. *hug*

    Answer by sugamama3 at 9:10 PM on Jul. 5, 2011

  • i would see can she have suervised visitation. we were having the same problem with my husbands baby mother. I understand things happen and in result the child may get hurt from time to time. but my step son came back with a big bruise on his face (where he was kicked by his sister), finger nail gone his brother closed his finger in a folding chair, burnt twice by an iron twice. So i understand completely. Again i would try to get supervised visitation when he is with her. how old is he?

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:17 PM on Jul. 5, 2011

  • ^^supervised visitation

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:17 PM on Jul. 5, 2011

  • Thank the lord she is not involved,, and I would give him a phone to call you whenever he wants you all to pick him up! Thank god you are a good step mommy,, it is refreshing and nice to see,,,,! Hats off to you,, have your hubbs tell her one more instance that he is uncared for and you will be taking her to court to terminate her rights.

    Answer by kimigogo at 9:21 PM on Jul. 5, 2011

  • I'm in this same situation believe me be thankful she dosnt come around my ss bio mom picks him up every weekend I have to see her I hate it just try to step back believe me I know first hand that sucks to hear but that's what I do till I can't take it anymore then I put my foot down and my hubs does what needs to be done I don't care if he wants to or not if your step child is not taken care of then report it to whomever you think will do something about it stand tall and firm if you put up the fight everyone else will stand next to u and win good luck to you and I'm here to relate if u need to message me please do so I will listen :)

    Answer by rinamomof2 at 1:58 AM on Jul. 6, 2011

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