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Monkey see monkey do

the other day when my 22 month returned home from a weekend w her bio dad and his family she done something that reallly has upset my husband and i. we gave her a pretzel stick and when i first gave it to her she ate it so i went about my work in the kitchen but my husband got to watchin her and noticed that she was actually playin like she was SMOKIN A CIG!!!! neither my husband, or our family members smoke only her bio dads side does. i am extremly irrated about this and im tryin not to over react bc at this point im pretty darn close to not allowing her to go back over there. how would you as a parent react to this? how would you approach the other parent?

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Asked by bamamommy2009 at 9:21 PM on Jul. 5, 2011 in Toddlers (1-2)

Level 15 (2,271 Credits)
Answers (6)
  • At least you know where the behavior's coming from. DS is almost 3 and did that the other day and I have NO IDEA where he picked that up. Nobody we know/hang out with smokes!

    Answer by BeachyBabe at 9:27 PM on Jul. 5, 2011

  • It is very irritating. I wouldn't make a big deal about it....maybe encourage her to eat it instead of stick it in her mouth. The bigger the deal you make of it she may look for attention by doing it.

    Answer by BeachyBabe at 9:28 PM on Jul. 5, 2011

  • o no we arent planning on making a scene infront of her, and we explained to ehr we dont play with our food we eat it, but he should know better than to smoke infront of her{bc he was the first person when i found out i was prego to say there wouldnt be any infron tof her}

    Comment by bamamommy2009 (original poster) at 9:35 PM on Jul. 5, 2011

  • First of all, I'd raise hell with them and tell them that they are not to smoke around your child. Second hand smoke is very dangerous. Tell them that, if they refuse to honor your wishes then you won't let your child go over there any more. Give them the chance to change their behavior. They may not be thinking about it. Second of all, when you see her do that, take away whatever she is using as a cig and tell her not to pretend to smoke. Make sure you don't say "Don't do that!" because she doesn't know what "that" is. Make sure you tell her what she is doing wrong. My daughter did that once when she walked in on my father in the bathroom and then tried to pee standing up (making a huge mess in the bathroom)

    Answer by Razzle_Dazzle1 at 9:35 PM on Jul. 5, 2011

  • Yep if you make a big deal about it to her then she will continue doing it. This happened with my 3 yr old because of my mother, I did explain to him that smoking is bad for you and your body.

    As far as your ex smoking isn't an offense that warrants stopping visitation, not legally that is, but I would talk with him about not smoking around the little one.

    Answer by tntmom1027 at 9:37 PM on Jul. 5, 2011

  • Just make it clear that he is not allowed to smoke around your daughter but still allow her over there. My son will sometimes pretend to smoke cuz he sees his daddy doing it but I always tell him that is not cool, it is not acceptable, and whenever my husband is outside smoking, we either stay inside or go far away and play so he is not right there watching it or breathing the smoke.

    Answer by Butterflysky_24 at 10:22 PM on Jul. 5, 2011

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