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How do I overcome my past?

I was molested at a young age by my female cousin. Now that my DD is waering panties, I worry that something could happen to her. She is still very young and wouldn't understand if it did. These days it is hard to trust anyone.. My LO is 2.5 and she has a 5 yr old friend that lives close and she loves going over to her house, but I don't think the parents ck in on the girls when there are playing in the room, how can I not worry everytime my LO is over there house playing?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 3:05 PM on Dec. 16, 2008 in General Parenting

Answers (3)
  • When I say I understand I do mean understand. I had this same fear with my boys. I tried to arrange things so that they were either playing outside in an open area or they were at my house. Bedroom doors were never allowed to be closed with other kids over. I checked them (at walking by the room) every few minutes. Any child they played with who began acting sneaky or looked for opportunities to be alone became distant friends quickly. I also began teaching good touch/bad touch, privates and telling at about 3 I think. My boys never went to someone elses house at 3 w/o me being there too. Was I over cautious.Hell yeah I was. I KNOW what can happen and it doesn't take but a few minutes to tear a childs world apart.

    Answer by GrnEyedGrandma at 3:13 PM on Dec. 16, 2008

  • I had a similar issue with molestation as a little girl. I never wanted my son around anyone unsupervised, and children were the biggest culprit of my fear. I personally always kept close watch of him when he was playing, and never let him alone with children that I could not watch myself. This is what I feel is necessary even if I hadn't experienced molestation as a child. Children get very curious and can do strange things when not supervised. If you feel that the neighbor is not checking in on the kids enough and you feel any doubt, I would stop allowing that and have play dates at your house.

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:16 PM on Dec. 16, 2008

  • I was molested when i was 4, and i can say that i worry about what my son and future kids will come up against. I think you have valid reasons to be protective, and I think your precautions are reasonable. I think the other mms have a good idea about you watching the kids.

    Answer by Momma_Neko at 12:17 AM on Dec. 20, 2008

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