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Can you file for sole custody

I do not have money for a lawyer and all. I'm wanting full / sole cutody from a deadbeat dad. And yes, he is a deadbeat day, not seen, claled, text or paid child support in over two years.
I'm more worried about the legal aspect of if something happened to me. Right now, we have joint custody. I worry about my life insurance and him waisting all the kids money, because he'd be in control of their finances. AND of course, who'd take care of the kids.
BUT if I had the money for a lawyer, would they be able to track him down to pay child support?
Right now, I have a case with the attorneyy general, whick is going no where fast! They just say they cannot located him, at this time. But my ex didn't even file a tax return last year or at least they didn't garnish his return. Or think, to find him using his tax information. I don't understand how, they just can't find him!
What would you do?
The best way to handle this?
I want my kids protected.


Asked by Anonymous at 8:03 AM on Jul. 6, 2011 in General Parenting

This question is closed.
Answers (9)
  • Look into a program called legal aid, it if legal help at little or no cost to low income families. They can help you get everything you are asking for and make it all legal so you don't have to worry. I believe in most states it is 3 years of being a dead beat before they take his rights so you may have a small fight if he wants to pretend to care.

    Answer by zoejains_momma at 8:19 AM on Jul. 6, 2011

  • I'm in the same boat! My son's Dad has NEVER paid child support (over $24,000 - as of now) or even been in his life for 7 years ... Our divorce ended with shared custody with me as primary residence! But, I want sole custody changed as well! I'm going to my local court house to get the paperwork from them to fill out and file myself! Also, a lot of states have a "Volunteer Lawyers Project" for family law cases! Hope this helps - I know that I need to STOP procrastinating on this!! You should start now - a little work every day! :o)

    Answer by isismoon3 at 9:18 AM on Jul. 6, 2011

  • The truth? He is wrong for not being involved in his' kids lives, yes he is wrong for not paying child support, but that is not grounds to file for sole custody. I'm only going off what you've provided here. You say you want your kids protected, just as well all do, what would you be protecting them from? As for finding him, if he is working under the table, they probably won't find him. Honestly it sounds like trying to file for sole custody is going to cause more stress than its worth, b/c it sounds like you already have deteriorating health. As for your life insurance, you can add an amendment or clause stating it goes to your children on their 18 birthdays, it will go into a trust fund and deadbeat dad cannot touch it. If he isn't coming into your kids' lives as it is, you will gain nothing by getting sole custody. That's all sole custody does, what is already happeneing.

    Answer by yesmaam at 8:10 AM on Jul. 6, 2011

  • Ugh, I just don't want Jim.blowing my money for the kids. I wznt them to be cared for by him or someone else. But its my money, kids money not his!
    The don't know him anymore. I know, I've heard of cases eherr the father gets kids and they are all strangers to one another.
    This is so frustrating.

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 8:47 AM on Jul. 6, 2011

  • Just go down to the court. In Michigan where I live, all of the child support and custody stuff goes through Friend of the Court . Legal aid can help ou fill out the paperwork. Here if there has been no visitation for over a year they will usually give you sole custody. Custody and child support are treated as seperate issues here. You cannot deny visitation for the person not paying child support. My SD bio mom rarely pays but will file a parenting time complaint in a heartbeat if we mess with her visitation.

    Answer by Quinn525 at 9:52 AM on Jul. 6, 2011

  • I'm in Texas, does anyone know the time limit here? He's $34,000+ behind in child support.

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 10:27 AM on Jul. 6, 2011

  • I should pay to track him down & give him my life insurance. I'm not stopping him from seeing his children, I'm not hiding from him.

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 3:18 PM on Jul. 6, 2011

  • If u had sole custody and if something happened to you, he would still get them. Even if u put a clause in there saying they get the money when they are 18 he can withdraw it early. I know this for a fact. So u will want to talk to an attorney.

    Answer by emmyandlisa at 8:34 AM on Jul. 6, 2011

  • Here we go again, its all about money. Maybe you should try and track down the father to establish a relationship between them.

    Answer by yesmaam at 3:02 PM on Jul. 6, 2011