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Does anyone have experience with being the family's breadwinner?

Right now the plan is for me to get licensed (midwifery) and build a practice. Once my practice is large enough my husband will quit work, stay home with the kids and run my books. It will kind of be like a family business.

I know this can work... on paper. If I do 5 births a month we will be making double what we make now with him working full time. But I worry about a lot of things.

Will he be up to being Mr. Mom? Will he nurture them the way I do? We parent a little differently, he is a little bit harsher. The benefit to midwifery is that I won't be working 9-5 M-F, it will be probably 2 full days in the office, a half day at the office and then births, home visits, postpartums and occasionally emergency appointments. Will my kids hate me for going back to work? Will my husband feel like less of a man because he will be working, essentially, for me, and not bringing in money of his own?

And what do the dynamics look like in your house, if you are the breadwinner? How does your partner feel about you "bringing home the bacon"?

I also wonder about household chores and such. He was out of work for a couple of months years ago (before we had kids) while I was working full time. He never cleaned, he never cooked, nothing, just did what he wanted after looking for a job. I wonder if he will be able to keep up the house AND care for the kids AND cook. He works hard at his job, but it's very linear, and being a stay at home parent is anything but. it's not harder, it's just very different.

What do you guys think?

Answer Question

Asked by Ati_13 at 10:13 AM on Jul. 6, 2011 in Money & Work

Level 24 (21,184 Credits)
Answers (5)
  • I think your plan is worth a try, you can always work on the kinks later, good luck to you!

    Answer by older at 10:16 AM on Jul. 6, 2011

  • Sounds like a great plan.. I am the "breadwinner" in our house. Hubby takes the kids to school and works part time and then picks them up from school.. He cooks, he does clean, handles the laundry etc.. Of course it is not done like I would do it but it is done, so no complaints from me.. We still share the housework and the kids tho when I am off.. It works for us.. He doesn't care that I make the money because it is all for us anyways.. It is not mine vs his.

    I will say, he may have an adjustment period with the housework. He will NOT take care of the kids like you would..You both are different people so of course he will do things different and that's ok.. Depending on the kids age, they too will have an adjustment period..

    Answer by midnightmoma at 11:08 AM on Jul. 6, 2011

  • The roles in our house switched almost 10 years ago. My husband lost his job at that time to due to downsizing and I had just starting moving up at my job. We decided because of the hours I was working he would stay home. It was an adjustment for him the most but he soon settled in just fine. He now works part time but he still does all the cooking and some of the cleaning and loves it. I am working on getting my business to full time so I can quit my job and also be home. Good luck.

    Answer by Kari126 at 1:21 PM on Jul. 6, 2011

  • He will not do things the way that you do, and you need to accept this.

    Answer by rkoloms at 2:07 PM on Jul. 6, 2011

  • my lover LOVES when i bring home the bacon :)
    he told me to tell you to look up MR. MOM by Lonestar
    yup it's a good thing if it fits both your natural abilities! GL mama!

    Answer by lizzybee44 at 12:07 PM on Jul. 8, 2011

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