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4 Bumps

My daughters relationship is coming inbetween ours

my daughter is 18 years old and is in a abusive relationship. she has been i believe he is brain washing her and is keeping her away from me more and more every day. this whole thing has got me so worried for her. I want her to realize how bad the situation is and how dangerous this can become. he takes drugs and has gotten her to try many things. he has made death threats to me and her step dad. my hands are tied. shes 18 and i can't make her do anything.

Answer Question
 
cheryl887

Asked by cheryl887 at 10:36 AM on Jul. 6, 2011 in Adult Children (18+)

Level 3 (18 Credits)
Answers (10)
  • Just keep offering your love and support to her. let her know that you love her just as she is, drug free and as a happy adult woman.
    zoejains_momma

    Answer by zoejains_momma at 10:37 AM on Jul. 6, 2011

  • Keep harping on those dangers, why has she threaten you?
    older

    Answer by older at 10:38 AM on Jul. 6, 2011

  • Your right you cant make her do anything. And the more you try to convince her how bad he is the farther away you will push her. Just love her and be there for her and pray for her. Personally I would not comment on my opinions of hte man she is with unless she asked.. ultimately you want her to know she has a safe unbiased place to come too when she needs help and support.
    MommaB30

    Answer by MommaB30 at 10:38 AM on Jul. 6, 2011

  • Unforutnately this is hard, but you have to let her live and learn. Just be as supportive as you can.
    pookiekins34

    Answer by pookiekins34 at 10:39 AM on Jul. 6, 2011

  • If he has made death threats the police should have been called. He could have been picked up and allowed time for your daughter's head to clear.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:42 AM on Jul. 6, 2011

  • I think you need to call the police and tell them about the threats,, I would report him for drugs as well. Perhaps if he goes to jail, your daughter would come to her senses,,,,I hope to god she is on birth control. If not, I would offer to pay for the shot.
    kimigogo

    Answer by kimigogo at 10:44 AM on Jul. 6, 2011

  • Call the police for both the threats and send them over for the drugs. I can't imagine how hard that must be for you to see your daughter suffer like that. It must be like a horrible dream that came true, I think all you can do is offer continuous love and support like the other mommas are saying. Although if you push too hard (in her eyes push too hard) she may even pull further away because of the boyfriend. As mother's we want to protect our children from all danger, we do the best we know how. If you are a praying woman, pray for her, and as hard as it may be, pray for the boyfried as well. Hugs to you.
    yesmaam

    Answer by yesmaam at 10:47 AM on Jul. 6, 2011

  • Thank-you for the advice. I know that I need to always be there, It breaks my heart to see her in pain(brokenhearted). I always listen to her when she needs to talk but ,all this back and forth drives me nuts. When things are good between them she wants me to forget all things prior. I can't do that.
    cheryl887

    Comment by cheryl887 (original poster) at 10:50 AM on Jul. 6, 2011

  • How awful for you.
    onethentwins

    Answer by onethentwins at 9:11 PM on Jul. 7, 2011

  • I would let her know that you can't forget all the awful stuff he has done to her because she is your daughter and you hate to see her hurting. Make sure she knows that you are always there for her and that she has a safe place to come home to when she decides to leave him.
    Cindy18

    Answer by Cindy18 at 9:11 PM on Jul. 7, 2011

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