Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

3 Bumps

Can a relationship survive with out trust?

Me and boyfriend has been together for 6 years. We have had some ups and down. I have made a few mistakes at the beginning of our relationship and admitted to it. he says he forgave me but i feel that although it has been 5 years since it has happened the trust is still not there. what should i do to gain that trust back after all this time?

Answer Question
 
hotmama46250

Asked by hotmama46250 at 12:06 PM on Jul. 6, 2011 in Relationships

Level 5 (80 Credits)
Answers (13)
  • Personally.. once my partner "makes a mistake".. I can't take it anymore. . No trust=No love.
    SuperrMommyy

    Answer by SuperrMommyy at 12:07 PM on Jul. 6, 2011

  • I think the lack of trust "bruising" never goes away..............if that makes any sense. In my warped mind it does.
    Dahis

    Answer by Dahis at 12:08 PM on Jul. 6, 2011

  • If there is no trust a relationship will self destruct.

    older

    Answer by older at 12:09 PM on Jul. 6, 2011

  • no
    butterflyblue19

    Answer by butterflyblue19 at 12:11 PM on Jul. 6, 2011

  • If he can't trust you after 5 years then it's just not there. I made a mistake @ the beginning of my marriage and DH forgave me, while it did take a while for the trust, it has been 2 years and he trusts me.
    AF4life

    Answer by AF4life at 12:12 PM on Jul. 6, 2011

  • personally, not to sound harsh but i think if it was truely ment to be you wouldnt have cheated on him in the first place. It is possible to forgive but probly never forget. hes always going to be wondering, questioning, feeling not good about himself. and its not fair to you or him. im sorry but thats the way i feel. I dont mean to sound harsh its just my opinion. maybe someone thats been thru it and truely feels good about their relationship can answer it better.
    prettynpink343

    Answer by prettynpink343 at 12:14 PM on Jul. 6, 2011

  • I'm assunimg the mistakes were with other guys, and I agree that in cheating situations, the trust will never fully come back. I know it was a long time ago, and you regret it, etc....but you still made the mistake, and one of the concequences is he'll probably never fully trust you in that area again. I know I wouldn't. But, I wouldnt have stuck around either.

    Again, this is if youre talking about cheating.
    mlmkjw

    Answer by mlmkjw at 12:14 PM on Jul. 6, 2011

  • I don't think a relationship can survive without trust, but it can go on while trust is being rebuilt. If he still has trust issues after 5 years, then it might be time to move on. He can't hold your mistakes over your head forever. Either he forgives them or he doesn't. I know forgiving and forgetting are two different things, but forgiving includes being able to move on and work on it together. It's not fair to yo if he keeps holdng it over your head. My DH recently started a affair and when I found out he said he would end it. It only happened a few days ago and it is still fresh in my mind, but as long as he really stops, I am willing to forgive and try to forget. And one of those conditions is that we have a fresh start and notdwell on past mistakes. So if he still has trust issues, it might be time to move on.
    Bluebird8874

    Answer by Bluebird8874 at 12:27 PM on Jul. 6, 2011

  • A relationship cant survive without trust, My ex partner would allow me to do anything wen were together i had to be with him 24/7. I didnt cheat on him or nothing he just had not trust in me whats so ever and that made me feel down and lonely as i could speak to my friends without it causing a row. I had to leave him as much as i still wanted to be with him at the time x
    BabyMad93

    Answer by BabyMad93 at 1:13 PM on Jul. 6, 2011

  • My husband and i have been married for 14 yrs now. We both cheated on each other and our relationship has never been the same. Even though he cheated on me first and i did it to get back at him, its very hard to trust someone who cheats. If he hadn't have cheated on me we would have been fine bc i didn't have the need to go out side of our relationship for someone else i was happy. Now we sleep seperately and we still live together bc of the kids but its just not the same and it really isn't working. So in Jan of this yr i filed for a divorce.
    PackersMamaof4

    Answer by PackersMamaof4 at 2:18 PM on Jul. 6, 2011

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.
close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN