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My daughter wont stop telling lies and hiding things

This is the 4th time she's gotten a detention and hid it. I don't find out until the school called to remind me of her detention before the day of. I use to spank her years ago but I only did it because I was taught by my mother growing up that it was the way to disiplince her. After getting older and reading more I decided that I was against it. I basically take away things that she likes and I even let her choose her punishment from 3 options at times. But she's still acting like this. I'm just so aggrivated....Grrrrrrr! It's hard to hide from her how mad I am.

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Asked by Anonymous at 4:09 PM on Dec. 16, 2008 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

Answers (6)
  • I would just start treating her like a liar. Let's see, when you know someone's a liar you don't really pay attention to what they say. Responses would be things like, uh-hu, right, that's nice, ect.
    Or you can always give her a dose of her own medicine and see how she likes it. She asks what for dinner and you tell her it's something else then what it is. You invite her to go shopping and instead take her for a doctor's appt.
    And then when she gets frustrated with you and confronts you about it. You explain to her that, that's what she's been doing to you with the lying, talk about how it makes you/her feel and see about striking a deal, NO MORE LYING!

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:19 PM on Dec. 16, 2008

  • Mabey you shouldnt hide it. Let her know that you are disappointed in her decisions. Of course keep the conversation age appropriate. How old is your daughter? As this is the 5-8 year old section. Seems like if she is getting in trouble at school like this at such a young age the school would contact you. I would def. contact her teacher and have a conferance immendiatly. Find out the whats and whys and go from there.

    Answer by mistynights234 at 9:51 PM on Dec. 16, 2008

  • OP: She's 7 years old. She'll be 8 in 3 months. I've talked to her teacher and she's told me that my daughter constantly talks and is very disruptive. She seems to want to play all the time. I've sat my daughter down and asked her who, what, and why but her answer is mostly that she knows it's wrong and she doesn't know why she does it anyway. I am just so sick of this. I will never have another baby EVER. Parenting is very hard and I'm starting to feel like I'm not cut out for it. No I am not saying that I'm giving up I'm just saying that I definately shouldn't have anymore.

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:58 AM on Dec. 17, 2008

  • Well, you have admitted something that alot of women wont. Im not being a smart a** or cutting you down. I am being VERY serious here. Have you thought of parenting classes or seeing a counselor? Being a parent is the hardest thing we can do. I dont know if you have a significant other but if your are doing it alone or feel like your doing it alone makes things that much harder. There is nothig wrong with saying "i need help" there is something wrong with knowing you have a problem and not trying to fix it. Also.......the school can help you. Contact the counselor make an appointment and lay it on the table. Tell them you need help with your child. There is TONS of things that the state offers for free. My own daughter has a "special friend" she see's at school one time weekly that is helping her learn social skills. If teacher isnt willing to help by pass her go right to the counselor!

    Answer by mistynights234 at 12:57 PM on Dec. 17, 2008

  • OP: I'll talk to her school about it after the holidays. I have a SO and he is very helpful but nothing seems to work. He doesn't have any kids so I tell him that neither one of us knows what we're doing :-) I'm really trying my best with her but I'll let her live with her grandmother before I mess her life up. I just want the best for her.

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:38 PM on Dec. 17, 2008

  • My dd is 8 y/o. She has started telling lies and taking things that aren't hers. Thank God, she only takes my things and not stealing from stores. It is very hard to stop the lying. I've talked to every one I can about it and no one has really helped me. So I got creative.
    Every time I catch my dd in a lie, she has to write a letter of why she told the lie. Then if she lies again, she writes another letter plus she has to write 5 times "I will not lie."
    So far it has helped. She thinks before she lies to me now. Plus it helped her handwriting.
    Get creative and think out side the box. You never know, it just might help.

    Answer by lighthouse98 at 8:30 PM on Dec. 21, 2008

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