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I took in my 15 year old cousin and her 10 month old baby and need advice please!

Okay so my cousin was 14 when she had her son. He is a beautiful little boy and i love him to pieces but.. my aunt and them live in arizona and i live in ND. they called me in january and asked if i would let my cousin and her son come and stay with us for the summer. Me and dh thought and thought about this. My other family was completely against in saying that my aunt was trying to get rid of the responsiblity because she just wanted to do her own thing. Now that we agreed that they could come and stay with us for 2 months my aunt is not answering the phone for her daughter or calling her or anything. I finally asked my cousin "what would you be doing right nowif you were at home? sand she said sitting by myself with my baby all day and all night while my mom vacations or goes out at night. she comments on the food i cook saying that its nice to be made meals and that her mom dosent cook for her ever. i understand that she is able to cook for herself but just because she has a baby does not mean that she is an adult and should be left alone all the time and now her mom dosent talk to her while shes here!? i just think its sad i feel like she is abandoning her. Also a couple months ago she went to las vegas and when she got home told her that she didnt have any money to buy her a tshirt from there so she bought her one in az that said las vegas...wtf... My cousin got into it with her the other night because her mom texted her telling her shes going to california and breanna started crying saying how she can afford to do all this but yet shes been begging her mom to take her to the dentist for 3 years already. im sorry for venting so long but it is just not feeling right to me. No wonder she wanted to cme.

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prettynpink343

Asked by prettynpink343 at 1:03 PM on Jul. 6, 2011 in General Parenting

Level 15 (2,054 Credits)
Answers (16)
  • wow, that is sad. Is there any way she can just stay with you? Sounds like she would be better off with youMaybe if her mother was any sort of mother, spent time with her and acted like a mother, the poor girl wouldnt have ended up pregnant so young.
    minimo77

    Answer by minimo77 at 1:06 PM on Jul. 6, 2011

  • Is it possible for you to adopt her? It sounds like you are better suited guardian.
    But_Mommie

    Answer by But_Mommie at 1:08 PM on Jul. 6, 2011

  • I think you should try to teach her responsibility, be an example and show her how a mother should be and how to make her own path rather than falling into her mothers footsteps.

    amazinggrace83

    Answer by amazinggrace83 at 1:08 PM on Jul. 6, 2011

  • If you guys are willing and able to keep her, I think I would. It's going to get rough at times, maybe seem like more than you two can bare, but if you are emotionally strong I think I'd give it a shot. Not only is she a baby herself, but she needs a good mommy role model.
    yesmaam

    Answer by yesmaam at 1:09 PM on Jul. 6, 2011

  • What a sad ordeal. How is your husband doing? Do you think he would consider letting them stay? For the rest of the family, I would just throw up my hands and say, I guess you were right. But this young mother and her child need a family.
    ochsamom

    Answer by ochsamom at 1:10 PM on Jul. 6, 2011

  • I'm sorry, but she is so lucky to have you in her life. I owuldnt be able to send her back, I know its hard to have 2 other people in your home, but I couldnt do it... I would talk to her and see what she wants to do. If she could stay with you and get a part time job, to "pay" rent or even have chores (dishes, cleaning..) then she can stay, If she is sent home, she will end up with another baby, its a cycle. Her mother isnt going to stop it, or help this young Mom do something with her life. Call your local high school and see if they have any programs for young moms, if not, call another one... Some one has to be able to help her..... You are an amazing woman, for even doing this for 2months, but can you send her back there knowing what is going on??? Sorry
    ashley_hatty

    Answer by ashley_hatty at 1:13 PM on Jul. 6, 2011

  • I agree with the other ladies. If you and your dh are financially able, you should consider keeping her. You seem to be much more stable and responsible than her mother. She needs someone to teach her how to be a good mother for her son.
    Will she be returning to school in the fall?
    Our schools down here offer daycare for the girls who need it. She could get a part time job to help out with the extra expenses. Just some thoughts.
    dmdblleb

    Answer by dmdblleb at 1:14 PM on Jul. 6, 2011

  • okay heres the thing, me and dh just bought our first house together on may 1st. breanna and brayden got here on june1st and are supposed to stay until august 1st. we have 2 kids of our own-actually they are mine but not in our eyes of coarse- they are 6 and 4. we bought a 4 bedroom house so yes we do have the room. i love love love them and she is really great with her son but still needs guidance as in things like- dont just feed him formula all day, make sure when hes fussing to realize he may be teething or may just need to go for a walk outside or maybe just fussing because hes a baby. things like make sure you bring diapers and wipes when we go somewhere. things like you need to get your rest at night because you may have to get up with him. My dh is doing really well and loves having a little boy around but there is also things that worry me as in financially supporting them both.
    prettynpink343

    Comment by prettynpink343 (original poster) at 1:19 PM on Jul. 6, 2011

  • While the baby is NOT the responsibility of your aunt, your cousin IS. It's sad that this child is being neglected.
    Zakysmommy

    Answer by Zakysmommy at 1:20 PM on Jul. 6, 2011

  • We live in a small town in ND, about 17000 people and no the high schools dont have anything here for pregnant girls unfortunately . If we adopt them is there any programs that could help us say with daycare and things? she is wonderful, sweet girl and i just dont want to send them back
    prettynpink343

    Comment by prettynpink343 (original poster) at 1:21 PM on Jul. 6, 2011

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