Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

If mother in law is always late to your childs birthday party because she stays late in church to socialize...what should I do? reminder there is a cultural difference, I am cauc. she is from Taiwan.

our relationship is getting worse! I keep trying but I am not sure when I am being rude to her due to her culture.

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 4:15 PM on Dec. 16, 2008 in Relationships

Answers (10)
  • don't have the party on a day she goes to church or change the time to a little later so she can socialize and still show up on time.

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:16 PM on Dec. 16, 2008

  • My husband works on Sat. I have changed the times for her, it seems her answer is the same, "I have church". Thank you for helping.

    Answer by lbmumuv3 at 4:20 PM on Dec. 16, 2008

  • Tell her the party is earlier than it is

    Answer by a_and_j_momma at 4:20 PM on Dec. 16, 2008

  • For the once a year event, maybe realize that she is going to be late and don't let it drive you nutz. I don't understand why she would socialize for such a long time that it inconveniences the party. If it were just a few minutes then I'd say just visit among yourselves until she gets there, but if she comes in after a meal is supposed to start, then it is a problem both for you and for her.

    Answer by Bmat at 4:31 PM on Dec. 16, 2008

  • My MIL is ALWAYS so I pay it no mind at all. It's just something we expect and she knows we're not going to wait more then 10-15 minutes for her before going on about our plans. My father's family are always in church too so whenever we plan a party we always avoid those days as a courtesy to them. I think that is probably your best solution also.

    Answer by Slinkee at 4:33 PM on Dec. 16, 2008

  • If you know that she goes to church and she takes time afterwards to socialize why plan a party for that time? You have a few choices here. Plan for Saturday or another day, have it a little later, or just start without her. Of course there is the fourth which is just let it bug you and destroy a relationship. Don't do that. Grandmothers are important to have around. They add a lot to a child's life. grannywilson

    Answer by grannywilson at 4:44 PM on Dec. 16, 2008

  • Make sure the time is well after church would get out. Give her like an extra 2 hrs and if that doesnt work tough her.

    You shouldnt have to rearrange everything to accomodate her when she knows full well what time the party is,etc.

    Answer by BonesDragonDew at 5:09 PM on Dec. 16, 2008

  • Let her show up when she wants. Your daughter will eventually ask her why her church in more important.

    Answer by gdiamante at 5:57 PM on Dec. 16, 2008

  • Do you live in Taiwan? If not, she needs to show up at the given time. However, that being said . . . my MIL shows up late for everything, too. I tried telling her a time earlier, but that didn't work either. We just start w/o her.


    Answer by Pnukey at 6:14 PM on Dec. 16, 2008

  • Honestly, I would understand but it would make me upset still. Try to plan on a Saturday, it works easier for people. If you don't attend church on Sundays, then you would see it is hard to do both when your involved at church. However, being a grandparent I would try to leave a little early so I won't get stuck afterwards to go to my grandchild's party.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:10 PM on Dec. 16, 2008

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.