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Trust

let me start by saying that trust issues have been a big part of my mariage, i have been married 13 years and most of my marriage my husband has lied to me about porn addiction. a frien across the streed that my husband use to be friends with help him keep up with his lies about porn, even came down to him geeting him a membership at adult movie store, this was several years ago and he promised me that he would not have anything to do with this man ever again, wouldnt talk to him or go over ther, he could chose his friendship or his marriage and he chose marriage...he has never really done anything about his porn addiction just bascially said he has stop loking at it and has no desires to look at it, but got caught several times after that looking at it, we started couseluing at church and it seem to help us some....we done it about 4 months and then it stoped. i think we need more but evertime i ask him he comes up with he can't find out any information at work, i have told him that i want us to work on our mariage a to make it stronger....and with the trust issues, to help me with this he is not to suppose have contact with man across street, and yesterday i was told that he was spotted over at the man house inside his house, i confronted him and he said he was over there talking but was not inside house, and the source surely promised me that he was...but to help me with the trust issue he is not suppose to be over there at at and i find out that he is over there talking with him after years ago he promise me that he would cut all ties with the man across the street.....when my husband did answer me i felt like he wasn't being honest with me by the way he was responsing to the question, he was kind acting like he was yalling alot and the y way he was talking, and my stomach felt very nervous and gitter and felt like i was getting the truth, didn't say anything else aout it, then we went to bed..should i believe him when source was sure he was over there or should i confront him again and explain to him about the trust issues about him being over there, he has admitted that he was over there talking with and that makes me uneasy but when someone tells me they see himin his house, trust issues come flowing all through my head, am i being a fool again...he has told me so many lies in the past i don't think he knows when he is lieing and i don't know how to tell when he is telling me the truth..but my gut is telling me he is lieing to me, but don't know what to do...

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lisa98450

Asked by lisa98450 at 2:09 PM on Jul. 6, 2011 in Relationships

Level 5 (64 Credits)
Answers (4)
  • i didnt read your whole post, but from what i did read i can tell you porn addiction is a real addiction. he may need professional help to be able to break it.
    julie.f

    Answer by julie.f at 2:19 PM on Jul. 6, 2011

  • Is he maybe having something going on with the "man accross the street?" seems a little weird to me.
    SecondChances85

    Answer by SecondChances85 at 2:29 PM on Jul. 6, 2011

  • Why would you stay with someone you can't trust? If he lies to you like this the entire marriage, how can you stand it? I would leave. I would wonder what else he has lied to me about over the years. That is a HUGE thing to me in my marriage...I have to have trust.
    zoomomto3

    Answer by zoomomto3 at 2:50 PM on Jul. 6, 2011

  • I agree that porn addiction is a real addiction and just like alcoholics and drug addicts you might need to stage an intervention. Because the first step is admitting they have a problem and unless he is confronted by loved ones and they tell him how his probem is affecting them, he may not realize he has a problem. He is getting defensive and he's lying and sneaking around, and all kind of addicts do the same thing. I would suggest talking to the counselor at your church if you really trust them. Go by yourself and ask for advice. They may be able to provide you with information on addicts and help you form a plan on how you want to go about helping him kick his addiction
    Bluebird8874

    Answer by Bluebird8874 at 3:02 PM on Jul. 6, 2011

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