Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

3 Bumps

My 20 year old daughter moved out after a fight about her live in boyfriend - I feel terrible!

My 20 yr old daughter is a great kid. She's in her second yr of college and bringing home excellent grades. In exchange, we provide housing, a car, insurance and of course food. She contributes to the house by doing a lot of choirs and is respectful of our house. Her boyfriend is the problem. A year ago we agreed he could stay with us rent free to get the 15 college credits he needs to join the army. He received his credits in May. It's July and I have started to demand an update on his enlistment. It turns out he hasn't even looked into it. My husband and i demanded he get a job and start contributing. This angered my daughter and they left two days ago. I'm heart broken, I don't know how they can survive. Should I beg her to come home? Or let her go her own way?

Answer Question
 
lisamoya66

Asked by lisamoya66 at 4:24 PM on Jul. 6, 2011 in Adult Children (18+)

Level 3 (26 Credits)
Answers (21)
  • Let her go....
    butterflyblue19

    Answer by butterflyblue19 at 4:27 PM on Jul. 6, 2011

  • You will survive, let her go. She will learn how easy she had it at home. If you let her come back, I wouldn't let the BF until he has done what was expected of him.

    Christine0813

    Answer by Christine0813 at 4:27 PM on Jul. 6, 2011

  • You have to let her go her own way. Be available for her when she needs you. Sounds like she's a bright kid except for the boyfriend blind spot. When they start having trouble making it, her eyes will be opened. And you need to make surehat you NEVER say "I told you so."
    gdiamante

    Answer by gdiamante at 4:27 PM on Jul. 6, 2011

  • they are both adults. they will survive and hopefully he will get his ass in gear (or she will have a wake up call). either way it will most likely work out for the best in the end.
    princessbeth79

    Answer by princessbeth79 at 4:29 PM on Jul. 6, 2011

  • Let her go. She sounds like she has a good head on her shoulders. She will be okay.
    zoomomto3

    Answer by zoomomto3 at 4:29 PM on Jul. 6, 2011

  • let her go momma you have to sooner or later
    myboysRmyhero

    Answer by myboysRmyhero at 4:31 PM on Jul. 6, 2011

  • Let her go
    mommy_of_two388

    Answer by mommy_of_two388 at 4:35 PM on Jul. 6, 2011

  • Thank you so much for your advice and for taking the time to listen and respond. Its unanimous... I will let her go. I really didn't think it was going to hurt this much. But it's the right thing to do.
    lisamoya66

    Comment by lisamoya66 (original poster) at 4:37 PM on Jul. 6, 2011

  • She is of age, she shouldn't got upset but let her realize it herself that she is in the wrong let her go do not call she will come around. GL
    Butterfly1108

    Answer by Butterfly1108 at 4:39 PM on Jul. 6, 2011

  • I have no idea what makes these people think that she has a good head on her shoulders. You should never have allowed her to have her boyfriend to move in. She thinks and he thinks that you owe it to them to support them. It is stupid to continue to do this. If you give in and ask them both back you are just showing her that she can get what ever she wants and behave however she wants.
    tootoobusy

    Answer by tootoobusy at 4:42 PM on Jul. 6, 2011

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.