My older brother recently moved in b/c he lost his high profile job several years ago and rather than finding a real job, he's been hiding behind odd jobs here and there b/c he's ashamed and scared that someone he used to work with will recognize him. I didn't know this until now.
When we moved him, I also found out that he's a hoarder. He claims that he buys things from yard sales or picks up free things or cheap things and then resells them for more to make some extra money but the problem is that we don't have enough room for all his junk. Aside from that he also had a breakup w/a longtime gf. We found him a temporary job but soon he will need to find another job.
We let him stay rent free & also dont let him pay for anything else yet he keeps insisting on paying when he doesnt have money. Not only that he also gives money to so-called homeless ppl who beg in parking lots. I was upset at him about this & he got upset at me for trying to change him. This irritates me b/c we're trying to help him get back on his feet & yet he acts like he's got money to spare. We're not rich ourselves. I keep telling him that if he really wants to do me a favor, then he needs to get back to being independent soon by finding a better job, paying off his debts & stop worrying about other ppl.
I also learned that he has all sorts of phobias & that some jobs he told me he would apply to, he hasn't b/c he's afraid of rejection. In the meantime, other than his hobbies, I don't know what else he does in his spare time. He doesn't want to go back to school b/c he says he's too stressed out & depressed. He lent ppl his backup money and they never paid him back. I told him that he makes poor decisions & he says that "they told me they would pay me eventually & I believe them" or "its ok, I could afford the loss at the time." OMG! I can't believe how stupid he is! He has rental properties that he doesn't want to let go of b/c he feels like "the economy will turn around eventually." He keeps lowering his rent b/c he's afraid he cant find anyone to rent. He's on the verge of bankruptcy & seems to continue to make foolish decisions. I feel like he's moving at a snail's pace and am not sure what else I can do to make him more productive. He doesn't have money for counseling either. Am I wrong to get upset at him for squandering his money away still when he's dependent on us? If I had someone help me like I am helping him, I wouldn't waste a minute doing the most I could to get out of a hole. It's driving me nuts the way he is. I know he has deep mental issues but I dont know how to help him when he cant afford professional help right now. Any constructive suggestions?
Asked by Anonymous at 6:15 PM on Jul. 6, 2011 in Relationships
Answer by LeJane at 7:21 PM on Jul. 6, 2011
Answer by oregonduck at 6:19 PM on Jul. 6, 2011
Answer by zoomomto3 at 6:23 PM on Jul. 6, 2011
Answer by matthewscandi at 6:28 PM on Jul. 6, 2011
Answer by pookiekins34 at 6:35 PM on Jul. 6, 2011