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Did you Mother leave when you were a child?

Mine left 20 years ago, I was 12. I have not been able to find her and even after all these years I still miss her. I don't care what she did, I just want to see her again. I have alot of guilt that I have not been able to find her at all. Yes I have tried many times with no results. My Grandparents tried too, her parents.

How do you deal with the sadness? DO you still have feelings for her?

Answer Question
 
sweetangie79

Asked by sweetangie79 at 1:14 AM on Jul. 7, 2011 in Relationships

Level 18 (5,741 Credits)
Answers (16)
  • My birth mom left me when I was 3, her parents then raised me I heard from her next when I was 8. She was always walking in and out of my life when I was a child. As an adult I gave it my all to build a relationship with her once again it failed. I have nothing at all to do with her and I can honestly say I have no real feelings for her.
    smurfyangel

    Answer by smurfyangel at 1:19 AM on Jul. 7, 2011

  • my mother left when i was 8..i didnt find her till i was 16 and then lost contact again until i was 19. My mom was/is into drugs..i never really felt sad about it i guess..i had alot of anger when i was younger..especially because she left me in a house where i was being abused (in all forms)..i have a relationship with her now, but its no where near a mother daughter relationship..theres no respect. I consider he more of an older annoying neighbor that i befriended..

    My advice to you would be to pray..i wish you the best. maybe if you talk about it to some one it can help you to sort out the years of grief that have been built up over the years
    MonkeyMommyNJ

    Answer by MonkeyMommyNJ at 1:22 AM on Jul. 7, 2011

  • I lived with my mom until I was 13. The last couple of those years she wasn't really around. She'd work and then go home to the bar. We lived where there was no family so when I went to visit my Grandma that summer I just didn't go back. So, I guess technically I left her but you know, she didn't exactly clean herself up and come after me so... My situation isn't exactly the same, I did hear from her over the years. She lives here locally now and we talk but the relationship is so strained. She wants this mother daughter relationship that is just out of the question for me. I'm ok as is, the hardest part for me is watching her struggle with it. I'm 30 now, there is no making up for lost time, I don't care to try. I know it hurts her. I care about her, I love her, but the bond just isn't there.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:26 AM on Jul. 7, 2011

  • my mom left me 2 years ago when I was 26 on the day I found out that my dad wasn't really MY dad but some stranger I thought was my dad for my whole life. He was never around but I spent my life searching for him, found him, did a dna test and it came back that we have no relationship. She told me never to call her again and said I was a bitch and she is done with me and done with this. So I lost both "parents" on the same day.
    myownhappiness

    Answer by myownhappiness at 1:29 AM on Jul. 7, 2011

  • Sort of. My mother was kind of around but from the day we came home from the hospital she dropped us off at my grandmothers and took off to do her own thing. My grandmother help raised us and then when I was 12 I raised myself.
    mommy_of_two388

    Answer by mommy_of_two388 at 1:29 AM on Jul. 7, 2011

  • The sad thing is that I think of her all the time. I want to see her more than anything. I do know that she is alive.
    sweetangie79

    Comment by sweetangie79 (original poster) at 1:49 AM on Jul. 7, 2011

  • Do you know why she left? You may be better off without her. I have my 12 yr old step daugther and her drug addicted mother hasn't seen her in a year. She calls once a week for 10 mins. Sends no birthday, christmas or any other presents. Its awful and I keep telling her that her mother is ill that drugs are an illness. Frankly, I get tired of making excuses for this woman. If she wanted to be with her daughter, she would be. Maybe you are better off letting sleeping dogs lie.
    BrendaW.

    Answer by BrendaW. at 3:03 AM on Jul. 7, 2011

  • My Father threatened her, so he could get custody of me and my now dead brother. She was never on drugs and didn't drink. She has never been a criminal and is not in trouble with the law. I has an attorney check her criminal record. She use to call my relatives and let someone know she was okay, but that stopped a long time ago. Her parent raised me after things with my father got bad. They are both dead now and I live in their house. She was scared of anyone that yelled at her. My father use to beat her and she was scared of him.

    sweetangie79

    Comment by sweetangie79 (original poster) at 3:10 AM on Jul. 7, 2011

  • I have no hard feelings toward her I just want to talk to her see her even if it is only one last time. I know where my father is and I don't care that he and I are not close, nor his side of the family. I just need to get closure if that is possible.
    sweetangie79

    Comment by sweetangie79 (original poster) at 3:17 AM on Jul. 7, 2011

  • The woman who gave birth to me left when I was 6 months old. My father re-married when I was three and his new wife adopted me. I've never had the slightest wish to see that woman. Now that I'm a mother, I cannot imagine the selfishness necessary to leave a baby. However, I feel blessed that she left and that I got to have a wonderful Mom. If she'd have stayed around, I don't think my life would have worked out as well as it did.

    Good luck with your closure.
    Dr.Donna

    Answer by Dr.Donna at 7:28 AM on Jul. 7, 2011

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