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Please help!! Child custody battle adult content

I have a 2 yr old who is my life, she doesnt know her dad, i currently when to a first hearing for custody of my baby, my ex who is suicidal, pulled also a gun at me when i was 6 mths pregnant and has threteaned to kill himself a lot of time got unsupervise visits sat and wed from 9 am to 6 pm, judge accepted all evidence of his threats but yet didnt care at the end gave him unsupervised visits, my attorney didnt sign the court order we were going to appeal it to see another judge and go to trial but ex did an emergency petition to see the judge the one who makes the final decision and cried to the judge because his mother just passed away, judge approved the visitation unsupervised so this saturday he is coming to pick my baby up :( i am devastated, scared he would hurt my baby, sad because she is so attached to me and my mother, she doesnt know him or anyone in his family, judge made him get cpr certified because my baby has acid reflux and is on an apnea monitor in order for him to take her he needs to be trained my attorney said if he doesnt how me proof that he is cpr certified and that he was trained on the machine for me not to let him take ger, this guy has never supported her, im in Florida its a shared custody state.. i feel like the judge didnt care about my daughter i am scared he will hurt her.. What can i do ? If i dont let him take her i will be held in contempt.. Can someone else help me? A social worker help me? Or anyone? I am so nervous i love my baby to death she is my life please help

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futuremom21

Asked by futuremom21 at 3:20 AM on Jul. 7, 2011 in Relationships

Level 2 (7 Credits)
Answers (14)
  • was a DNA test done? if not - I'd try to contest paternity (yes, me, myself! the mom!) as a time buying loop-hole

    I'd also insist he pick the baby up at the pediatricians office to prove his use of the apnea machine and also for a nurse to take a peek at the carseat
    hibbingmom

    Answer by hibbingmom at 4:37 AM on Jul. 7, 2011

  • Also see if you can tour her nursery at his house and find any reasons that a judge would not be angry for delaying the visit. No baby gates on stairs? improper incline or other sleeping set up per doctors orders for her sleeping with her acid reflux? acid reflux friendly food in kitchen? also are there guns in his house still? that would be an absolute deal breaker considering his past.

    did he pass a psych eval?
    hibbingmom

    Answer by hibbingmom at 4:41 AM on Jul. 7, 2011

  • I am hoping you find a way to keep him away from her. I was in a horrible situation and found out I was pregnant with now 6 month old angel, I immedietly left the state, told no one I was leaving just took what I could carry. I am now in a custody battle but have juristition. No matter what my baby will stay with me, because its better for her. I gave up my friends, family, good job, home, but in the end my daughter is safe and he will never come near her. He found out how far I was and he isnt fighting the battle, In less than a week he goes in default and I will be granted sole custody.

    Good luck, Do whatever it takes to protect the little one. As a mother we sacrifice so much, but so worth it. We are heading to Canada after its over so I know we safe.
    AshBaldwin011

    Answer by AshBaldwin011 at 4:56 AM on Jul. 7, 2011

  • The judge didnt even order a phsych evaluation or anger management nothing!!! he has not toddler bed no car seat he will be using a friends car seat, He has a crazy sister the stays with him she has never left her room since she was 7yrs old she is now 29 she doesnt even have her license, didnt even go to school, teeth are rotten never even went to a dentist or dr, she screams and says she is fighting demons inside her!!! Basically my attorney said judge felt bad because my exs mom just died he felt sorry for my ex, but what about my little girl??!!! Attorney says theres nothing else we can do, i didnt even get the chance to see and talk to this new judge my attorney didnt informed until after the decision was made. He said if i dont give him the baby i will be held in contempt, i am desperate someone has to help me but who? I want the best for my baby and if something happens to her i would be destroyed she is my life help
    futuremom21

    Comment by futuremom21 (original poster) at 5:56 AM on Jul. 7, 2011

  • I went through something similar, I was court ordered as well and my daughter didn't know her bio dad at all! It was horrible, he took her out of my home kicking and screaming! This went on for a while until I told him he wouldn't have to pay me child support if he just went away and he did! I feel for you and your daughter, this is going to be so hard! After going through this for quite some time, I talked to several other mother's going through the same thing and they told me, they refused to send their kids! I asked what happened and they said "nothing!' Police can't physically remove the child from your home, plus they don't like to get involved in these types of situations! You will be found in contempt is he presses the issue but it's like a slap on the wrist! They also said they wouldn't be there at the house when the father's would come pick them up! I never tried this but it's what I was told. Cont.

    anichols1

    Answer by anichols1 at 6:46 AM on Jul. 7, 2011

  • My daughter is now 16 and she hates her bio father! She remembers all those visits like it was yesterday and so do I, it was the worst time of our lives! Laws are different in different states so i can't tell you what will happen if you don't send her but if I had to do it all again, she wouldn't have went with him especially with the medical cond. your daughter has! Like another person said before me, I'd skip town, something! I wish you the best, keep fighting!!

    anichols1

    Answer by anichols1 at 6:53 AM on Jul. 7, 2011

  • Thank u so much for your answer
    futuremom21

    Comment by futuremom21 (original poster) at 7:14 AM on Jul. 7, 2011

  • Wow. You are in a very tough spot. I liked the idea of having him pick up the child at a dr's office and prove what he knows. I don't reccomend not allowing visitation. It depends on your state, but not allowing visitation is the #1 reason to switch physical custody in mine. You'd have to do it a few times though...? Just talk to your lawyer about the law there, talk to child services, and if anyone at his residence has criminal history that could help to?!
    Ms.Gwen

    Answer by Ms.Gwen at 7:48 AM on Jul. 7, 2011

  • Hi Ms. Gwen thank you so much for your answer, my attorney said if i dont let him take her than i would lose custody and be held i contempt so i have to let him take her :( i will be speaking today with a social worker to see if they can help me, his brother commited suicide yrs ago and he has a sister that stays with him that has mental problems but the judge didnt care at all
    futuremom21

    Comment by futuremom21 (original poster) at 7:54 AM on Jul. 7, 2011

  • You would require documentation from a medical professional stating the person is a danger to others in a mental health case. Criminal record would be easier to prove! It's to bad you don't live one state to your north. : (
    Georgia takes the mothers role and mental health into greater consideration. The best advice I can give you is... Do what your lawyer tells you. Document every thing, check with child services for laws on sleeping arrangements(in my state the child must have thier own bed), you can also report him to CPS if you find anything or she comes back with a bruise or even just severe diaper rash!(make sure you document with a doctor). Unfortunately suicidal/depressed people tend to make victims of thier children(misery loves company) you will be in my prayers. Make sure the car seat is approved for the height and weight of your child(easiest reason to refuse visitation). I will pray for you, good luck.
    Ms.Gwen

    Answer by Ms.Gwen at 8:10 AM on Jul. 7, 2011

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