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How do I ...... ?

How do I stop making other peoples problems my own? For the longest time I have been very reliable and responsible. Even my family views me this way. I tend to have the mentoring personality. Now it seems that I am getting overwhelmed and stressed out about other peoples issues and problems. They always look to me for the answers and its never positive energy.

This person is dear to me and very very close to my heart, any advice on how to make her stop depending on me for every little thing and even her big issues? Her stress always becomes mine... What do I do?

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MommyDimples

Asked by MommyDimples at 12:15 PM on Jul. 7, 2011 in Relationships

Level 9 (367 Credits)
Answers (3)
  • u seem like the really helpful kind of person, i am actually like that too. i mean someone else can be going through something and i am going to do all that i could to make their lives betterm but in the process it is giving you a headache like it was ur problem to being with. what i suggest is listening, giving the adivse then letting it all go because if you get yourself caught up in their issue/problem, your time is surrounded around another persons life and that causes stress on you and you dont need that. i learned that the hard way, just give the advise and always suggest prayer, that will help them too so that they are not constantly coming to you with story after story because it can happen.
    acha1985

    Answer by acha1985 at 12:23 PM on Jul. 7, 2011

  • You have boundry issues. Here's some stuff to read. You just need to google your advice or seek help from a counselor for assistance. Depending on your level of anxiety. Good luck.

    http://www.angelfire.com/az/ASofNow/boundaries.html

    http://www.learningandviolence.net/violence/disclosure/boundaries.pdf

    chgomom

    Answer by chgomom at 12:25 PM on Jul. 7, 2011

  • my husband is the same as you.His ex is bipolar.And their grown daughter will come to him and say "my mom said this""My mom did this".I do feel bad for my stepdaughter, but I had to tell them that I did not want to discuss her mother anymoreHer mother has been the topic of discussion for 15 years now. .It just makes everyone in our house upset.and me mad. You have to set boundries and just talk about the weather sometimes.
    evelynwest

    Answer by evelynwest at 12:40 PM on Jul. 7, 2011

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