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My fiance treats his daughter different than his son who is with us full time and my two daughters. She only is here 10 days a month.

Hello, My fiance and I have melded our familes together for about a year and a half now. His daughter 7 comes here 10 days a month. My children are gone 10 days a month. Should I have my children go when she comes? so they don't see each other? They have a hard time getting a long, becasue they are very different. 7 y/o comes from an only child house hold, my two girls have always had each other 10, and 8. The 7 y/o will cry to her dad, saying my kids did this or that, and then they get in to trouble. I have seen her lie to her dad to get my kids in trouble and when I confront my fiance, he does not believe me and gets really defensive. All the kids have been mean to each other, so I can see where he says my girls pick on his daughter, but she does it too, my kids just don't tattle. He says that becasue she only comes here 10 days a month we should treat her a litttle different. Like if she wants to play the WII we should let her first, or not have to take turns becasue she is not here that much and my girls get it all of the time. My sister said this past weekend at the lake, 7 y/o said to my 8 y/o pour water on me, so she did, then the 7 y/o ran to her dad crying and saind 8y/o poured water on me, so my 8 y/o got introuble. Or, the two 7 and 8 y/o were fishing. Fiance told his daugher not to do something with her pole becasue it will break, my 8 y/o said who cares do it anyways. 7 y/o did it and her pole broke. She started crying and of coarse my 8 y/o got into trouble for telling her it was ok.
Another example, we do not kick our shoes off from the top of the stairs to the landing where they go. When my chilren do this they get in trouble, when 7 y/o does it he never says anything. He just lets things slide with her, and he points out every single thing my kids do wrong.

I guess I am frustrated by my children always gettting in trouble, and she has different things expected cause she is not here that much.
Should we treat her special like she is a house guest? Because she does not have it very good at her moms, and she is not here all the time like the rest of the kids and they have all the time to play wii or on the computer?

Answer Question

Asked by lovemamma at 12:17 PM on Jul. 7, 2011 in General Parenting

Level 5 (86 Credits)
Answers (4)
  • I would treat her the same it is not fair to your daughters

    Answer by roxy0522 at 12:25 PM on Jul. 7, 2011

  • They should all have the same rules.

    But, something needs to be done about how they are treating each other without any finger-pointing.

    I might have a family meeting and inform them that if there are any incidents, then all of them will get consequences regardless of fault. It is not acceptable to treat family in that manner. After a few times, they hopefully will be "moved" to try and get along.

    And, if you see something brewing, you guys should step in and nip it in the bud before it explodes.

    Answer by ImaginationMama at 12:39 PM on Jul. 7, 2011

  • something needs to be done they are at an age to where it doesent matter who tells her its no big deal she knows better. Dont want the other kids feeling less important just because she is not there all the time she will continue to behave in an unfair mannar as long as daddy is per mitting it, I would most def send my children off when she comes.. good luck.

    Answer by Destins_Mommy at 3:14 PM on Jul. 7, 2011

  • She needs to be treated the same. She is part of a family not a guest.

    Answer by CometGirl at 9:27 AM on Jul. 8, 2011

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