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3 Bumps

Changing my baby's name?

I am really confused about this decision. I must have gone back and for so many times. I could really use some imput.

When my son's adoption is final in the fall. We were asked if we wanted to change is name. We would never change is first name, that is not an option we would consider. We do want him to have our last name. What we are considering is changing his middle name to the name of a beloved friend who has passed. I asked why he has the middle name he has now and it was just something his mom liked.

Original: Raymond Levi Possible new: Raymond Alexander

For those of you who know me , you know I do not want to change who he is or his history. I just think this might be a nice honor. You see how wishy washy I am?

What do you think?

Answer Question

Asked by ochsamom at 12:31 PM on Jul. 7, 2011 in Adoption

Level 22 (12,399 Credits)
Answers (19)
  • Depending how old the child is I would let it be their choice. My DH was adopted and changed his middle name to his adopted Dads name because he simply couldn't spell his middle name.

    Answer by zoejains_momma at 12:33 PM on Jul. 7, 2011

  • The way I see it, you are adopting him.... making him part of YOUR family. Now I understand not changing a first name, but changing a middle/last would be completely appropriate in my eyes. He is to be your son with minor ties to the birth family. Name your future son what you want him to be known as in his new family. It's a way of connecting him to you and clarifying that you are his family for better or for worse.

    Answer by hollydaze1974 at 12:36 PM on Jul. 7, 2011

  • He is 19 months. :o)



    Comment by ochsamom (original poster) at 12:39 PM on Jul. 7, 2011

  • A close friend of mine adopted a son. His original name was Alexander Josiah they renamed him Alex Nicholas Josiah ( my dead friend passed away and her middle name was Nichole hence, Nicholas) why not just have two middle names. I like Raymond Alexander Levi....

    Answer by BabyBugsmama at 12:39 PM on Jul. 7, 2011

  • Dear friend... Not dead..

    Answer by BabyBugsmama at 12:40 PM on Jul. 7, 2011

  • I struggled with this decision as well. I ultimately kept the first and middle names the Bmom gave even though I didn't like them. The baby got our last name though.

    It is an extremely personal decision: I occasionally resent the fact that I didn't get to name my own child but then I push that away because in the scheme of things it matters so little. I think that fact that you are hesitating gives you your answer. If you feel it is being disrespectful to change the name then you may regret doing it. Do you speak to the Bmom to ask her opinion? She is probably the only one who could make you feel good about that decision.

    Answer by SandalsKitty at 1:15 PM on Jul. 7, 2011

  • ty SandalsKitty, I did ask her and was kind of indifferent or distracted. I hope that doesn't sound too cold. She is distracted by her situation (jail). She is interested in helping us name the new baby, however. She would like us to stick with Rs for the 1st name lol. She must have thought of 20 names so far. lol

    Comment by ochsamom (original poster) at 1:25 PM on Jul. 7, 2011

  • I agree with Sandalskitty, I think you probably already have your answer based on your hestitation or the best advice is to talk to your little ones birth mother.
    Although I'm also found of giving the child two middle names it continues to honor both your dear friend and your childs original history.

    Answer by blessedwboysx3 at 2:30 PM on Jul. 7, 2011

  • ty Mommies, I really had not thought of giving him both names. That is a thought.

    Comment by ochsamom (original poster) at 2:35 PM on Jul. 7, 2011

  • I gave my youngest child 2 middle names (of course not for the reasons you're considering). For a while he went by his 3rd name which is Chase, but when he got into 1st grade he had everyone start calling him by his first name (Ben).
    My son has two middle names because my oldest wouldn't give up on the name Chase and called his unborn brother Chase for 7 months. My son Ben loves the story of his name, he's 13 and still tells his friends the story of why he has 3 names.
    I think the thought that goes into our choosing has special meaning to a child, it reminds them how special they are to us that we put so much effort into their identity. I guess I see having two middle names for the reasons you've listed (to keep a connection to both a loved friend and the child's birth mother) is really special.

    Answer by blessedwboysx3 at 3:59 PM on Jul. 7, 2011

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