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2 Bumps

Does anyone else find it difficult to sepearte if u have small children involved? or is it that YOU really want the relationship to work but u just say that its b/c of the small children involved

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 1:33 PM on Jul. 7, 2011 in Relationships

Answers (8)
  • I just got out of a really bad relationship (childs father) and it took extra strength to walk away because he had a 9 year old daughter that I loved so much- I just knew he wouldnt let me see her again. Which I was right. But if you are in a bad relationship- Its best to get out. In the long run it will be better for the children. I grew up in an enviroment of fighting and yelling and abuse. Trust me, Get out before more damage gets done to the kids hunny!
    DanielleFortner

    Answer by DanielleFortner at 1:36 PM on Jul. 7, 2011

  • It was hard for me to separate for both reasons. It took me a very long time to come to the conclusion to leave, and it was an agonizing decision to make. Of course I wanted my marriage to work, that's why I got married, but by the time I was ready to leave, it did come down to the children. It broke my heart that I would be tearing apart their family and turning their world upside down.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:36 PM on Jul. 7, 2011

  • I can understand that. But as a child that comes from a broken home, sometimes it is just better. just think. Now they get double everything. lol. sorry just trying to ease it up a little. They will be ok. Just make sure you show them lots of love but dont over compensate, that can just spoil them! It will be ok hunny! Promise!!!
    DanielleFortner

    Answer by DanielleFortner at 1:38 PM on Jul. 7, 2011

  • I think it is hard to seperate because you know ultimately you know your decision impacts their life as they know it, but your decision not to leave can impact them in much the same way. Plus then you question if you are just being selfish. Change is not easy and knowing that you may have to essentially start over makes many people choose to try to work it out, which you should try but if you are living in misery and don't like the life your children are seeing ultimately changes need to be made.
    2boysnaprincess

    Answer by 2boysnaprincess at 1:38 PM on Jul. 7, 2011

  • I think its a little of both in most cases. I personally would have a very difficult time leaving my SO BECAUSE we have small children. If we could work things out and not negatively affect them, why wouldn't we?

    Of course, there are a lot of bad situations that I would never stay in simply because I had a child with the man.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:55 PM on Jul. 7, 2011

  • It is harder- not only do you have to worry about getting yourself out, you need to worry about things like day care, and school bus changes, and who's picking the kids up when...
    HOWEVER, the small inconvenience is worth it when you realize that your children are not going to be raised in a home with fighting, anger, resentment and head games. They will learn by your example, and therefore grow up thinking that is what a healthy relationship is made of! Let your children learn to LOVE! It is for their future!
    PartyGalAnne

    Answer by PartyGalAnne at 1:59 PM on Jul. 7, 2011

  • It is hard because you don't want the family to break up but once you realize how much better the environment is when you leave and how much better your kids are for being out of that it makes it all worth it no matter how hard it was.

    I have full custody of my children now because their father was never worried about them. He used them as a weapon against me (kept them for 4 days and only gave them back after I gave him a notarized note saying as little as possible that was advised by my lawyer). When the day comes that they tell me they no longer want to go to their dads house I will not force them to go. They are only 5 and 6 now but they really don't like their father from the time they do spend with him.

    Even tho it was hard for me, I am grateful my family stood behind me and got me out of there. It may have been only 4 years of my life that I was with him, but those were the hardest years of my life.
    NikLvsNick

    Answer by NikLvsNick at 2:39 PM on Jul. 7, 2011

  • At first it was because i wanted for the marriage to work out, but as time went by it wasn't looking better in my eyes. It's been 5 yrs since I should've walked my kids were younger. Now I look back and think it would've been easier to move on because the kids were younger then they are now that in the last year had made it hard for me to walk away. I think it's best to walk when the kids are younger then they are a bit older. At first i wanted for the relationship to work out so i stayed, then it changed to staying because of the kids to not hurt them, but the time has come that it has to be done.
    SnapIt

    Answer by SnapIt at 7:01 PM on Jul. 7, 2011

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