Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

2 Bumps

Rights?!

Im pregnant and The dad disappeared. Im not complaining about that because its better off that way. however, I dont want him to have any rights. I am not putting him on the birth certificate, but everyone is hounding me to go after him for child support. I dont want to do that if he will then have rights to my baby. He isnt a good man!

Answer Question
 
DanielleFortner

Asked by DanielleFortner at 1:41 PM on Jul. 7, 2011 in General Parenting

Level 8 (232 Credits)
Answers (9)
  • Just go to the court house when baby is born file for child support and full custody with dad having supervised visitation. He is the father of the child he has rights and it is better for everyone if you address that as soon as possible. People don't realize that if you die this man that you dislike will get your child unless he is proven unfit and that takes a lot. If your on any kind of PA especially TANF or medicaid you will have to tell them who the father is because they will want their money back.
    matthewscandi

    Answer by matthewscandi at 1:52 PM on Jul. 7, 2011

  • Are you married? If you are, his name goes on the birth certificate no matter what. If you're not, go to the court house and file for child support and custody like mathewscandi said. It's so important to get everything established so your child is taken care of.
    Cavalrybaby02

    Answer by Cavalrybaby02 at 1:58 PM on Jul. 7, 2011

  • You position sounds very familiar. I have a good friend in that place, as well. You do NOT have to put him on the birth certificate. The hospital will pressure you for a name, but be strong. You do not have to put down a name. It may make you look bad. You might have to say, "I have no idea who the father is, I was drunk..." to get them to leave you alone. But with his name NOT on the certificate, there is no one to go after. If you file for any sort of government support - AFDC, food stamps, medical assistance - they would try to go after the dad. If there is no name, they can't go after any one. My friend's child is now 4 yrs old. The bio father has never once tried to see her. We think he may either be dead or in jail, but since she moved out of state before the baby was born, we have no idea where he is now.
    LoreleiSieja

    Answer by LoreleiSieja at 1:59 PM on Jul. 7, 2011

  • No I am not married. We almost got married Thank goodness we didnt. He has not tried to contact me for any updates or anything. I am keeping it all a secret. I am NOT putting him on the BC. No way! When I filled out the papers for TANF they asked for his info. Not knowing anything i automatically put down what I knew. Not much his name and last known address. I have to wait for the baby to be born before I can do anything tho right?
    DanielleFortner

    Comment by DanielleFortner (original poster) at 2:03 PM on Jul. 7, 2011

  • Yes wait for the baby to be born. You don't need an attorney to get custody but, if he fights it with an attorney then you will need one. Don't contact him about anything. If you are able to just give him supervised visits you can get the visits done at a supervision center so you won't have to deal with him then either.
    matthewscandi

    Answer by matthewscandi at 2:06 PM on Jul. 7, 2011

  • mattewscandi- That gives me much much comfort. I am praying that God will not let him fight me for anything, and if he does, I want him to look like a fool!
    DanielleFortner

    Comment by DanielleFortner (original poster) at 2:08 PM on Jul. 7, 2011

  • My husband and I were not married when my son was born. In the hospital he had MY last name on the little ankle bracelet. Hubby and I BOTH had to sign the paternity affidavit before the hospital would add my husband to the birth certificate as the father.

    IF you want child support you would have to name the father, legally.

    It sounds to me like the best thing for your baby is to leave the father blank on the birth certificate. That will also make it easier in the future if Mr. Right ever wants to adopt this child. Again, if you put this loser on the birth certificate, and Mr. Right wants to adopt you would have to track down Loser and get him to sign off/away his parental rights. If Loser isn't on the thing to begin with.......

    Good Luck!
    Rosehawk

    Answer by Rosehawk at 2:12 PM on Jul. 7, 2011

  • If you don't put him on the BC, he has no rights until he goes to court, has a DNA test ordered, gets on the BC and even then, he still has to go to court to get visitation.
    JLS2388

    Answer by JLS2388 at 2:54 PM on Jul. 7, 2011

  • If you put child support on him, he will have rights to your child..don't put him on the birth certificate...and see if you can get some kind of restraining order against him...as well as try to make him sign over his rights.
    chavela_carlita

    Answer by chavela_carlita at 10:10 PM on Jul. 7, 2011

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.
close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN