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Searching for the right way....

i did something to someone and i know it hurt them badly. it actually had to do with me and now her ex. he was telling me they were no longer together, etc so we started hanging out more.. now theres feelings involved, etc. he told me they broke up and they did at the time, but then they got back together and i had no idea of it. i kinda found out.. but he is always with and around me but i know that means nothing at all. i am feeling so guilty and i feel bad mainly for her because i know that i hurt her. i know theres not an im sorry in the world in i know if i was her i wouldnt talk to me either anymore but i at least wanna reach out to her and i dont know how. i never did anyone like this before and its hurting me. its not all my fault but i am woman enough to stand and say that i am wrong.. even if it is partially, its still wrong. i dont know what to do......

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Asked by Anonymous at 1:46 PM on Jul. 7, 2011 in Relationships

Answers (16)
  • Cut all ties with him, and if you are serious about it, work on your friendship with her. If she will even give you the time of day.

    Answer by pookiekins34 at 1:48 PM on Jul. 7, 2011

  • I agree. Cut off ALL ties with him. It's probably hard enough what happened to her, but to see you so much as look at him probably eats her alive. Believe me, I know!

    Answer by Kword at 1:51 PM on Jul. 7, 2011

  • yeah i know.. i mean if i was her.. theres nothing that could be said to fix it. although it happened while they were broken up.. its still a hurtful situation. and well.. i dk if cutting ties is exactly what i can do at this point bc theres more to the story. they are not together anymore true enough and two, i gained feelings for him as he has for me. she took him from someone and she thought it was funny. i wasnt trying to do that but now he is into me. i admit i was wrong like i said but the guilt is horrilbe.

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 1:52 PM on Jul. 7, 2011

  • her being a friend i assume? just give it time. when i was younger i dated this guy and he told me he was single then his gf showed up at a friend's house. and he still then swore she was the ex, but instead of marrying me he married her. a few months later she showed up to my friends house again and we talked about what happened. her and i are now best friends and have been since that day we talked 12 years ago. if you go now when emotions are running high its just going to explode into something more. wait until everyone has had time to calm down then approach her and tell her you are sorry and that he said he wasnt with her.

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:52 PM on Jul. 7, 2011

  • I wouldn't still have feelings for a guy that had lied to me like that. Your friendship with the other girls seems irrelevant to the fact that his guy seems like a complete loser. Even if I had never met the other woman, no way that man would still be in my life, regardless of how many "feelings" were gained. I don't need that kind of drama.

    Answer by Dr.Donna at 1:55 PM on Jul. 7, 2011

  • The fact is, SHE probably feels just like he cheated on her with you and that it's just as much your fault as his. I would just leave her alone.

    Answer by Kword at 1:55 PM on Jul. 7, 2011

  • thats exactly what is was. he said they werent together. we had been seeing each other for a while but he was acting as if it wasnt anything between them when in fact it was. he wants to marry me n stuff like that but i mean really.. how could u do someone like that? he spends all the time in the world with me. buys me things n makes sure i know where he is at all times and hes always around me except when he is at work or i am at work or school. me n her have almost fought but i am not going to fight her over a man but i know its all out of emotions and anger. i dont know what to do, this isnt easy at all.

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 1:56 PM on Jul. 7, 2011

  • I would give her some time, if you really didn't know because he was lying to you, then you did nothing wrong. This happened with my sister. She was dating a jackass and was just too naive to see it, he slept with someone that used to go to school with them, he had told her that he was single and had broke it off with my sister a few months back (not the case), he told the same story to a few girls and he actually slept with 3 or 4 other people while they were still dating. The first girl found out that he was in fact still dating my sister and told her what had happened, my sister wasn't mad at her because it really wasn't her fault that douche lied.

    Answer by AF4life at 1:57 PM on Jul. 7, 2011

  • apologize and hope she accepts it. nothing else you can do. not only were you basically the "other woman" but if you were friends with her-- you broke the girl code- you do NOT get with your friend's ex (unless you guys talked about it and she was okay with it-- and even still, thats iffy!)

    Answer by Shy_Dia at 1:58 PM on Jul. 7, 2011

  • He is a liar. You need to cut ties.

    Answer by pookiekins34 at 1:58 PM on Jul. 7, 2011

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