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My 16 year old daughter is too busy during summer, how much is too much?

How much is too much when your 16 year old daughter wants to hang with her friends almost every night, because "ya, know Mom, it's summer!" She has a lot of friends and seems to have something to do like 5 days out of the week. Movie here, drive-in here, going to the pool at this friends house, going to mall. It's like non-stop!! I know all her friends and they are mostly childhood friends. One has a pool so I get that because we don't. But she seems to be like planning something every night. Anyone else have this problem/situation? How do you regulate a 16 year old during the summer? Any advice would be great!!!

Note:  She does do most of the laundry for our family of 6 which is great!  She has soccer practice a few times a week.  She will be turning 16 in a few weeks so she does not have a part-time job right now.  She is not responsible for babysitting too much so she is not totally idle.  I guess I just feel like she should be spending more time at home, which I'm sure isn't something I wanted to do.  I was just wondering if anyone had a set number of days allowed to go out during summer.

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Asked by Anonymous at 2:03 PM on Jul. 7, 2011 in Teens (13-17)

Answers (11)
  • I would think that what she is doing is ok as long as she is not getting into any trouble. after a long school year a break is so nice. I was not allowed to have fun really during the summer when i was growing up. I never got to go to a friends or anything because I was always babysitting or being forced to keep my head in books. i would say that if she is not getting into trouble to let her have some fun... I know you must miss her, but school will be back before you know it

    Answer by DanielleFortner at 2:06 PM on Jul. 7, 2011

  • First, think about what you do want her to be doing. Do you have goals for her, or want her to have some goals for herself? You can't just tell her to spend more time at home. How were her school grades? Should she spend some time this summer studying? Reading? Get a part-time job? Do you need her to help out with chores at home? When you have a clear idea of what you think she should be doing, then you can talk with her about it.
    Yes, too much free time is a recipe for disaster. Kids with too much free time are quickly bored, and start making their own excitement. Some may try drugs, just for fun. Or sex. Or some other mischief. She should not have the entire summer just to party. Life is not a big party! She should have chores at home, and a part-time job, and some study time, and only a few hours a week to "hang" with her friends.

    Answer by LoreleiSieja at 2:07 PM on Jul. 7, 2011

  • It sounds great! As long as you trust her friends.

    Answer by mompam at 2:21 PM on Jul. 7, 2011

  • Make a certain night of the week "family night" and plan to all make dinner together, play some games or watch some movies, go out to do something, etc. She's not allowed to make any other plans this night and you get to see her more than just briefly.

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:26 PM on Jul. 7, 2011

  • My boys are both very busy during the summer too, my oldest more so. He will be 17 next month, and he is rarely home. He has weight training, works part time, wrestling practice a couple nights a week and baseball practice....he goes to the movies or the pool or the name it he's busy.
    One thing I do is a check in. Every Sunday (sometimes Saturday), I sit down and get the list of their plans for the week. This way I can see what he has planned, when and with who. Then I can schedule in mom time. I also expect both my boys home for dinner every night (with some exceptions), and I pick one night where its just us. I like that they stay busy and have things to do but we also have to check in with each other so we can stay involved. You might try this. My boys are really good about rearranging schedules to have friends at our house after a few times their schedules incorporated friends over on Fri nights.

    Answer by blessedwboysx3 at 2:51 PM on Jul. 7, 2011

  • Let her enjoy her summer. She sounds like a good kid.

    Answer by onethentwins at 2:53 PM on Jul. 7, 2011

  • The other nice thing about the check in - is it allows them to learn how to manage time and be responsible, on top of having some quality time with them as well. It's pretty much normal for us now and if plans change the boys will call me at work or talk to me over dinner about it.
    When you can be so involved in their planning like that - you have tons to talk about at night. :)

    Answer by blessedwboysx3 at 2:54 PM on Jul. 7, 2011

  • My almost sixteen year old is at camp for eight weeks, learning leadership skills, volunteering with Habitat for Humanity, and having an awesome time.

    She will be back three weeks before school starts, and will be doing her AP summer assignments, babysitting (she has been Red Cross certified since she was twelve) and hanging out with friends..

    Answer by rkoloms at 9:59 PM on Jul. 7, 2011

  • I would rather her be out and about with her friends and doing activities rather than sitting at home on the computer, sleeping all day. It sounds like she is a good kid and just wants to enjoy a little freedom over the summer. She is doing her chores, let her be.

    Answer by tyfry7496 at 11:46 PM on Jul. 7, 2011

  • If she isn't getting into trouble I would think it's a good thing to be busy. She must have gobs of energy!!

    Answer by cat4458 at 11:03 AM on Jul. 8, 2011

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