Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

6 Bumps

Is my fiance a pervert?

He took up close pictures of women's butts and in their bikinis when we took a vacation together. A majority of them were when they were facing away from him and so these women were unaware that their pictures were being taken. There were some pictures of teenagers standing in groups or walking down the beach together. I was in some pictures but the far right as the teenagers walked past me. He is 50 years old by the way. I figured they were for a porn stash or for masturbating too. What was amazing was that he did not hide them from me. Is this normal behavior for a man to display while on vacation with his significant other? It made me sick to my stomach that he did this. Is that a normal reaction to have from him taking these types of photos?


Asked by smokey440 at 2:11 PM on Jul. 7, 2011 in Relationships

Level 3 (20 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (34)
  • Call off the wedding! Yes, this is NOT normal behavior. My Dh is 55, and has NEVER taken an off-color photo of anyone. He has never given me a moment's worry about where his heart belonged. Photographing butts is not nice. Keeping the pics is not nice. And that he didn't care if you saw them says that he either doesn't realize how strange he is, or he doesn't respect you enough to even try to hide it. I'm sorry, but IMHO this would be a serious relationship-ender. If he's looking at teenager's butts today, whose to say he won't be trying to bed a teenager tomorrow? At the very least, he will be lusting after teenager's butts while he's gripping yours.

    Answer by LoreleiSieja at 2:15 PM on Jul. 7, 2011

  • Of course your reaction is normal!

    Is it weird he did that? Well, clearly he didn't think so. I know some men who do things like that with their wives and the women just ignore it or play along. What is important is how you feel about it. Most women would also feel sick to their stomachs.

    I read an article a while back about a young man who cannot help but to look at trashy looking women, so in the company of his family he would often have to go outside so he would not embarrass his wife. He was seeking advice from people on yahoo about it. He selected an older mans response as the best answer which said, "Anytime you look/stare at other women you are placing those women in front of your wife. Those women do not belong in front of your wife. If you cannot help but to look, then force yourself to not look by making them not exist. Everytime you look you hurt your wife."

    Answer by Gingerwheel at 2:22 PM on Jul. 7, 2011

  • Yes, he is, that is not normal. No way I'd react very well....

    Answer by minimo77 at 2:13 PM on Jul. 7, 2011

  • He is not someone I would want to be with.

    Answer by NannyB. at 2:15 PM on Jul. 7, 2011

  • Pedophile is another word that comes to mind. I hope you don't have a daughter.

    Answer by bcauseimthemom at 5:34 PM on Jul. 7, 2011

  • Sounds pretty abnormal to me!!!

    Answer by older at 2:16 PM on Jul. 7, 2011

  • He sounds sick. Why are you with him? He NEEDS help

    Answer by bmwlover at 2:20 PM on Jul. 7, 2011

  • Yes. He's a perv. Get him help or marry someone who's normal.

    Answer by Ataemommy at 2:13 PM on Jul. 7, 2011

  • Does not sound normal to me. If that is what he showed you what has he not shown you?

    Answer by treynlisa at 2:15 PM on Jul. 7, 2011

  • I w with someone lupine this. Never again. It was just a red flag to several other underlying issues. Sex addiction, porn addiction, etc.

    Answer by Musicmom80 at 3:53 PM on Jul. 7, 2011