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Mother in law help.. adult content

Okay my mother in law is not the best person for my child to be around..she abandoned my husband and I when I was pregnant, left us with no food in the house and was never a mother to neither one of us. On top of that when my husband was a baby she gave him up to his father and my husband thinks I should forgive her for the things she's done and let her see my son, BUT she hasn't proven to me that she can be a grandmother and take care of my son if he were to be in her care nor has she stopped the bar/methheaded boyfriend hopping..

She gets her family into and they jump my butt for it and it pisses me off..they all sugar coat everythin she has done...

She wasn't there durin my pregnancy and has been here to see my son once since we came home from the hospital..I'm not sure what to do about the situation. She's not a mother nor a grandmother. Some advice please!

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sdreier11

Asked by sdreier11 at 3:30 PM on Jul. 7, 2011 in Relationships

Level 3 (24 Credits)
Answers (17)
  • Why does she have to prove she can care for your son in order to see him? Why is she required to care for your son to have a relationship with him? It honestly sounds more like you are punishing her because you dislike her. Why was she required to be there for the pregnancy. I guess I'm not getting it.
    Musicmom80

    Answer by Musicmom80 at 3:33 PM on Jul. 7, 2011

  • I'm confused - why do you call her leaving you "abandonment"? Aren't you and your husband adults? Don't you have jobs to buy your own food? Maybe she left so that she wouldn't have to continue supporting two adults?
    Y.B.normal

    Answer by Y.B.normal at 3:35 PM on Jul. 7, 2011

  • Start out slow. with small visits. Dont leave your child alone with her!! Make sure that her visits are supervised by you or your husband. Its normal for him to want to give her a another chance. Not a bad Idea to forgive her because babies do change people. Your child could be exactly what she needs to become a better person. Grandchildren mean so much to grandparents. I watch my mom with all of my nephews and she just shows a different kind of love for them! I would consider trying to start over with her. Let the past be the past and just start out slow!

    DanielleFortner

    Answer by DanielleFortner at 3:35 PM on Jul. 7, 2011

  • Supervised visit should be okay, after all - you'll be there but over night or babysitting - hell no! My cousin's mom was never around and gave most of her kids to their fathers to raise however, at family gatherings she always acts like she's the best mom/grandma around. Whatever makes her feel better - but we know the truth.

    Good luck
    Tess929

    Answer by Tess929 at 3:35 PM on Jul. 7, 2011

  • There is no rule that says your MIL has to be part of your life. If she makes you that miserable, then just don't go around her.
    scout_mom

    Answer by scout_mom at 3:36 PM on Jul. 7, 2011

  • Me and my husband just recently got married and to begin with I was in High School at the time she left us and my husband was work a job that he made $8/hr. It wasn't easy. It's not that she has to take care of him its the fact that she bashes me to the family and I get my ass jumped for it cause I dont let her see him unless my husband is here. I may not like her but I WILL NOT keep her from my child, if she wants to see him she can come when her son is home, I will not allow someone who dates men 20 yrs younger than her that are methheads, as I found the pipe in our home, or someone who spends all their money on bars and then calls her son and makes her son feel sorry for her so he'll give her money, when he has just enough to support his family, be alone with my child. It is my decision. There is more to the story of why she must PROVE herself to me to be able to take my child anywhere or see him alone. She's not a mother!
    sdreier11

    Comment by sdreier11 (original poster) at 3:42 PM on Jul. 7, 2011

  • Well if you've made up your mind about how you're going to handle the situation, what exactly are you asking?
    Y.B.normal

    Answer by Y.B.normal at 3:47 PM on Jul. 7, 2011

  • And it would be nice to have her part of my son's life but I just can't trust her to be around him..when she was around him, that one time, it made me sick to my stomach. I would love to do the visits but I just can't stand her for what she has done..I know I should probably forgive her but I just can't, knowin that she just left us with a $1200 bill (rent/electricity) and never offered to pay a dime of it, and that she can just leave her son and (at the time) baby mama like that. We are not animals, we are human-beings who needed help and she left us and just expects us to forget about it, well that's not me..
    sdreier11

    Comment by sdreier11 (original poster) at 3:47 PM on Jul. 7, 2011

  • So if you know, why are you asking? Seems like you have it all figured out.
    Musicmom80

    Answer by Musicmom80 at 3:49 PM on Jul. 7, 2011

  • Cause I want it to be civil between my husband and I but I'm not sure how to get him to understand where I'm comin from and need a lil help. It's hard when I have her cousin jumpin my ass every other day cause she can't talk to me herself, when she lives right around the corner from us.
    sdreier11

    Comment by sdreier11 (original poster) at 3:51 PM on Jul. 7, 2011

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