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4 Bumps

The other side

I have noticed a lot of women lately posting about the SO cheating on them. So this got me thinking about what goes on in a woman's head when she gets involved with a married man. It's a lot harder these days for a man to hide that their married with facebook, myspace, twitter, etc out there, so the excuse that you didn't know he was married isn't always valid. But has anyone ever been the 'other' woman? Why did you stay with him after you found out he was married? Just wondering because I have recently been cheated on and while I would like to wring the neck of the woman my SO cheated with, part of me also wonders about her intentions and why she did what she did when she knew he had a wife and kids. (They had been longtime co-workers, and I know that she knew he was married)


Asked by Anonymous at 4:35 PM on Jul. 7, 2011 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (11)
  • Most of those men lie to the women. "She's a horrible wife", "She doesn't love me", "I don't love her, I just stay for my kids" Pick any of those... Men who want their cake and to eat it too are jerks who will say whatever they need to, to get a gullible girl in bed.

    Answer by brandyj at 4:45 PM on Jul. 7, 2011

  • some women do not know (at least at first-most will find out that he is married)
    some women will believe whatever a man says to them to get them into bed
    some women just do not care if a man is married
    some women seek the married ones out

    i would not want a married man
    -if he cheats on wife he will cheat on me
    -if he bad mouths her, he will bad mouth me
    -if he lies to wife, he will ie to me
    -if he is sleeping with me, he is sleeping with wife - and who wants to be sloppy 2nds=gross

    could not ever imagine wanting to be with a man who was in a relationship with another woman


    Answer by fiatpax at 5:04 PM on Jul. 7, 2011

  • Sorry but any woman who believes all that b.s. that men spout is a moron. If you know he's married don't screw around with him. If his wife really was that big a bitch, he would have left her already. Women who jump into bed with married men don't care. Haven't you seen it on here - so many people say it's only the man's fault. The skank who would sleep with him for some reason gets off scott free. Doesn't make sense.

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:55 PM on Jul. 7, 2011

  • I gotta laugh at all of you saying 'why are you mad at HER. It's HIS fault.' I don't know a damned woman who has been cheated on that DOESN'T blame her SO/husband for cheating! You can blame more then one person for a problem, and you can be pissed at more then one person. An affair is NEVER only one person's fault.

    Answer by Raine2001 at 5:23 PM on Jul. 7, 2011

  • have been the other woman. It was a coworker and I knew he had a wife and kids. I was about 10 years younger than him and was a stupid kid at 20. He persued me for a few months. He was extremely charming and eventually I gave in. I'm not saying that it was all his fault. I let myself fall for this scumbag. I did come to find out that I was just one in a long line of mistresses. He was actually having a contest with another coworker to see who could sleep with all the women in their departments first. He had cheated on his wife even before their little contest as well, so he was a pro. He knew how to manipulate and persuade his wife and his whores. 15 years later I still feel horrible for hurting his wife and his children. My stomach churns thinking about it.

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:04 PM on Jul. 7, 2011

  • Why not ring HIS neck among other parts of his body? Yes I've been the OW. The lying dog told me he was a widower and dating opening with other women so I had no reason to doubt him. When I found out he was really married we discussed it. He didn't want me to leave so I decided if he didn't respect his marriage why should I? BTW, I told the wife so she could put an end to it but she didn't believe me so we're back to no one seemed to respect the marriage so I have no guilt.

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:09 PM on Jul. 7, 2011

  • I was recently cheated on too and want to know the same thing. I could never ruin someones llife like that.

    Answer by sugamama3 at 4:38 PM on Jul. 7, 2011

  • I've never been the other woman but I do know that some women just don't care... I think only a whore would deal with a married man knowningly

    Answer by monshine2 at 5:46 PM on Jul. 7, 2011

  • I have been the other woman but not w/a married man. I have been the other woman to men that had long term serious relationships and ones that were engaged. This was probably about 10 years ago I was like this. To be brutally honest I did it to prove I could....disgusting absoloutely! People always say you cant wreck a happy home but thats not true, someone like me was super persuasive and was easily able to convince men that their women werent good enough for them or that they were bitches and I was able to pull off things that made their significant others look like bitches just cuz I was immature, insecure, and pretty skanky and low and I hurt a lot of people for no reason other than pure insecurity, pure competitiveness, pure jealousy. Eventually I grew up (this all happened in highschool and shortly after) and became secure w/myself in more areas thans just sexuality and I would never ever think about doing it again.

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:36 PM on Jul. 7, 2011

  • Just curious why are you mad at her? He also KNEW he was married!!!!! You should be mad at him because he was the one that made the commitment to you not her. HE is the one that cheated on you, not her. I can't understand why the wife is always so mad at the other woman. She isn't committed to you or your family. And if your husband wants to cheat, he will pursue every woman until one of them gives in, so if it wasn't this one it would be the next one.


    Answer by Cindy18 at 5:13 PM on Jul. 7, 2011

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