Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Do behavior charts/incentives work for you and your pre-schooler?

DS will be 4 in 2 mo. and his talking back and attitude about listening are sometimes out of control. I am looking for any ideas about reward programs. charts that may work for you. I am not a fan of spanking especailly as he is an agressive child already, but so far have found nothing that works for him. I have tried the sticker sheets on fridge, naughty step, going to his room and taking things away but nothing seems to really get to him or seem to work.any suggestions??

Answer Question

Asked by momto2cuties82 at 1:28 PM on Jun. 19, 2008 in Preschoolers (3-4)

Level 1 (0 Credits)
Answers (5)
  • Prize bage filled with dollar store prizes work well. Behave for so many hours, get a prize kind of thing. I also had my daughter working toward something at that age- each good behavior/chore earned a sticker. When she got so many stickers, I would take her for ice cream.

    Answer by emhain at 1:40 PM on Jun. 19, 2008

  • I would have a talk with him about what you expect. Be specific: "I expect you to listen to me the first time. I do not want you to talk back to me or ask me why. I expect you to do what I tell you to do without arguing. If you do not, you will (whatever - pick one and stick with it)" Practice with him and give him mega doses of praise when he does it. Be consistent 100% of the time. If he doesn't listen the first time, give him the consequences. Don't take any excuses like "I didn't hear you". Let him know when he hears your voice, it is up to him to pay attention. Use short words like, "Toys" when he know you will mean pick up the toys. "Bedtime" when he knows you mean it is time to do the routine to go to bed. It's his job as a kid to see where the boundries are for behavior. Don't give up. It's worth the effort.

    Answer by manna1qd at 1:52 PM on Jun. 19, 2008

  • Sorry, I didn't really answer the question. Charts never worked for us. It was always me interested in the stickers and rewards, not the kids. They didn't take to it at all.

    Answer by manna1qd at 3:41 PM on Jun. 19, 2008

  • my son is extremly stubborn. i used the time out routine but not with him(too much fight-not worth it). i used timeout with his toys. the first time i took about 3/4 of his toys away before he realized i was serious. he had to earn his toys back out of the rubermaid container. i used every excuse to let him earn them back i.e. cleaning his room, eating dinner without complaining etc. if you're son is aggressive he could earn his toys back by not hitting for the day or doing something nice or anything that you can think of. by the end, you'll see yourself noticing the good things he does before the bad and he'll be concentrating on doing good things to get his toys back. by the time he's earned his toys back, he'll be settled more into routine of listening when told.

    Answer by ibsqueen2004 at 10:42 PM on Jun. 19, 2008

  • Charts and redirection is what my daughter's teachers told me to do they work someimes if there is a reward at the end but unfortunately I think that after a while she is just doing things to get the rewards and then she goes back to the same behavior until I remind her of the rewards so I don't rely on that but I am just firm and I don't budge what I say goes no matter what and if she throws a fit i go along with my buisiness as if I don't even hear her no matter where we are even in a store every now and then just looking at her as if to say ya done yet but I don't say anything or try to console her or nothing it is a ploy to get what they want and she knows i AM NOT GOING TO GIVE IN AT ALL!!

    Answer by gena28 at 9:59 PM on Sep. 8, 2008

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.