Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

3 Bumps

What do you do...

What should you do, after you realize the real reason you married him?

Yes I care about him. But I could never imagine having a romantic night with him.

He deserves to be with someone that wants him.

I dont want to break his heart. It hurts when he says things like..."Thanks for putting up with me." I know he knows. But I can't take not being in an "in love" relationship with my husband, not wanting to make love to him, not wanting to kiss him.

It was so stupid to think that it would come with time. But its been a long time. I dont know if I can do it anymore. To be honest, I dont WANT to do it anymore. Counseling was a terrible, waste of money. Nothing changed. After so many tries, I'm tired.

It'd hurt to leave him. But, I dont want to be unhappy anymore.

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 6:24 PM on Jul. 7, 2011 in Relationships

Answers (8)
  • Sounds like you need to let it go sweetie, don't make yourself miserable if your not in love with your husband & you can't even kiss him or make love to him let it go, at least you tried to work things out by going to counseling but it didn't work. Just let him go it'll be for the best.
    VanillaBlondie8

    Answer by VanillaBlondie8 at 6:31 PM on Jul. 7, 2011

  • I think you already know the answer to your question chica. Obviously you have tried and you've come to your realization. I know it's hard but sometimes the best thing to do is to let them go. I wish you the best of luck in finding your happiness :)
    RigPrincess85

    Answer by RigPrincess85 at 6:33 PM on Jul. 7, 2011

  • Wow-
    I feel your pain. I always thought I was alone in the same situation. We are not married, but I have been raising his daughter sine birth (she is 6 now, and I am the only Mom she knows). I am not in love with him at all, but am very attached to this little girl. I don't know what to do. He is not an active member of the household. I feel like he doesn't want to be around either of us, and it kills me that I have no rights to this child. I want to leave but can't do that to her. I feel so trapped and want to get out, but don't know how. I know this isn't any sort of advice, but I know what you're going through and know that the only way to happiness is to try to get out!
    nyrngrs01

    Answer by nyrngrs01 at 6:35 PM on Jul. 7, 2011

  • Just let go. Its better for the both of you if you arent living a lie. You both diserve to be happy!
    Awesome.Mel

    Answer by Awesome.Mel at 6:40 PM on Jul. 7, 2011

  • Talk to him about it, tell him what you need and want and see what he does. You have to find your own happiness.
    DevilInPigtails

    Answer by DevilInPigtails at 7:13 PM on Jul. 7, 2011

  • The grass isn't always greener on the other side of the fence ~
    tasches

    Answer by tasches at 7:57 PM on Jul. 7, 2011

  • He deserves to have someone who truly loves him and you deserve to truly love someone.
    emmyandlisa

    Answer by emmyandlisa at 8:12 PM on Jul. 7, 2011

  • I think, although it may sound cruel, you need to let him go. You know you don't love him. He probably knows you don't. It may be hurtful in the beginning, but when he finds someone who loves him the way he loves them, then he'll see it was the right move for all of you. You also deserve to be happy.
    Austinsmom35

    Answer by Austinsmom35 at 10:48 PM on Jul. 7, 2011

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.
close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN