Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

2 Bumps

I'm scared to take care of my daughter without her father, Is it hard ?

Answer Question

Asked by kira156 at 7:55 PM on Jul. 7, 2011 in General Parenting

Level 2 (6 Credits)
Answers (10)
  • No, there is such thing as child support and family or good friends to give you a hand. DH is military and leaves every other year, I'm raising the kids by myself during those times with just an $800 a month allotment. OR if you want single parent, yeah it is hard but you have to do what you have to do.

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:57 PM on Jul. 7, 2011

  • well financially. Is he gonna give you child support? Do you have family support?

    Answer by LittleBirdFly at 8:01 PM on Jul. 7, 2011

  • honestly...yes! I have been exhusband walked out when my dd was 11 months and i was 14 wks pregnant with second dd. I did alone without his support. It was hard, but you can do it. I was only welfare and only received $250 a month for cash (which was not near enough to pay bills like phone and rent) I had food stamps which also helped. You must totally humble yourself and not be afraid to take in charity. If your dd needs clothes then buddy take whatever someone is willing to give, second hand is not the worse thing in life. It wont be easy and yes it is hard but you can do this. I didnt have a lot of support but i do know how important it is. for days/nights it gets rough if all else fails then log onto here and vent it out. we wont mind. it is ok to be scared...we were scared to ride a bike the first time, maybe to kiss the first time...think of all the times you have been scared and all the times you ended up ok.

    Answer by LadyOsgood at 8:10 PM on Jul. 7, 2011

  • Being a parent is hard in general. Being a single parent is harder, but if you have a good friends & family support system to give you breaks & you can do it financially, then you sould be ok. Child support is nice, but try not to depend on it. Over the years, there could be times you will have to do w/out it. It will make you stronger that's for sure. GL! :)

    Answer by mrsmom110 at 8:11 PM on Jul. 7, 2011

  • Yes, it is but you CAN do it.

    Answer by JLS2388 at 8:20 PM on Jul. 7, 2011

  • It is better to do it alone than to be caring for children with someone who causes you pain and is difficult. In my case I did all of the care anyway before the divorce. For me it was easier without him. I think the harder things were the vehicle problems, technical things etc. in those cases there are plenty of other people and or professionals who will help out. :-)

    Answer by LeJane at 8:50 PM on Jul. 7, 2011

  • I feel like if he isn't going to be around to see our daughter grow up then I don't want his money. Yes I have an amazing family that are supporting me and that help me out in any way that they can.

    Comment by kira156 (original poster) at 10:01 AM on Jul. 8, 2011

  • its very difficult but totally worth it. i have tons of support from my friends and family. its the best decision i ever made. my dd father is in a different state and hardly sees her so i undrstand. he pays child support when he wants. it helps though. good luck.

    Answer by lambdarose at 10:04 AM on Jul. 8, 2011

  • OP: If he isnt going to be around, I hope you have uncles or a Gpa that can step up & guide her. Although it's no replacement for her dad, having a strong male influence in her life is important. As to the child support, dont think of it as "his" money, but as your daughter's money! Kids are expensive. Put it in an acct for her to use - esp as he gets older- like for prom dresses, a car, college, etc. GL mama! And dont worry, even tho it may seem scarey now, you'll suprise yourself at how strong it will make you! It helps that you have a good support system too! Hang in there! *Hugs*

    Answer by mrsmom110 at 10:56 AM on Jul. 8, 2011

  • His parents are involved completely & they are doing it for him which I don't like. I like having their support and knowing that they are going to be great grandparents to her, but like I tell them they can't make him be there for our daughter if he doesn't want too be. I've tried to keep him involved as much as I can and he doesn't care. It hurts my feelings because of my daughter, I wish I could just walk away but I can't. Being pregnant with his baby just makes it so much harder! I know I have a lot to learn but I just feel like I can't do it without him, Even though I know I can !

    Comment by kira156 (original poster) at 12:45 PM on Jul. 8, 2011

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.