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2 Bumps

What would your opinion be if you saw this scenario?

I've learned a lot now that I'm on my 4th child. I've learned to not do lazy parenting (instead of yelling and MAYBE following through, I'll get up and get to my child's level). You don't tell others how to parent their children, but you can give friendly advice.

I don't have many friends and as much as this woman is socially challenged, she's also learning how to find her true parenting skills...or I HOPE she's trying to learn. I got invited to something and instead of it always being me me me...I decided to invite her along. She won't have a sitter...and I'm not about to drop her two tots onto my hubby just to go to this thing (he'll have our 4 kids already). She yells at her kids...instead of getting up and doing it quietly...she'll make a scene. Her 3 yr old is a hellion most days (even in my care she won't listen). And I can just picture her ignoring her child at this thing. Kid too loud, running around annoying other people...and I feel it might just fall on my shoulders. Not to care what others think, but I'm going to this thing to try and make NEW friends or MORE friends (than just her) and worried it might ruin my chances of separating from her and the stress her kid adds.

Is it better to not risk it and just bail on the friend to this thing? I've parented her child in front of her and she now thinks it's okay to yell at my kids if she feels they're doing something slightly wrong. Lead by example...but I also don't want people seeing me trying to settle down her child and have them think she's my child that I can't discipline and lose any chance of friends I may get. With this situation...WOULD YA'LL SEE ME IN A NEGATIVE LIGHT IF YOU WERE TO SEE ME BRING THIS WOMAN AND HER KIDS TO A FUNCTION? Sad to think that the only way out is to move off the island to make new friends lol.

 
Imortlmommy

Asked by Imortlmommy at 8:45 PM on Jul. 7, 2011 in General Parenting

Level 19 (7,592 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (3)
  • If you're going to make make more friends, I would leave her behind as she does reflect badly on you. Sadly, people do judge you by the company you keep. Also, you don't want them to know her too well if your friendship gets strained. You need to have some separate friends and yes, you're allowed to. You're not responsible for this lady making friends. She's an adult and can do that on her own.
    hellokittykat

    Answer by hellokittykat at 1:26 AM on Jul. 8, 2011

  • What kind of event is it that you would take her kids but not yours? Maybe see if you can help her find a sitter and leave the kids at home and enjoy some time with your friend. If she can't or won't find a sitter maybe it would be better to go by yourself if you are worried about what others will think if you are helping her discipline her children.
    amandajoy21

    Answer by amandajoy21 at 8:53 PM on Jul. 7, 2011

  • It's nothing serious...it's a grand opening to someone's home business (she's doing a party). The hostess will be bringing her 2 yr old so kids are allowed. My friends husband doesn't like watching his kids (he blames working all the time) and because of her kids behavior...not everyone wants to volunteer to watch her kids...plus she's not willing to pay for childcare. I'm trying to help her get out of her house, but she has to take her kids with her. I was there once...needing to always take all my kids with me, but my kids seemed to surprise even me with their behavior (my kids horns would hold up the halos perfectly when out in public)...I'm trying to be nice and help her, but at the same time...worried about MY stress levels.
    Imortlmommy

    Comment by Imortlmommy (original poster) at 9:00 PM on Jul. 7, 2011