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Do you have 4 or more face-to-face visits per year with your child's natural mother?

Why or why not?

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 9:30 PM on Jul. 7, 2011 in Adoption

Answers (10)
  • Nope. She was on drugs and ended up killing herself. We don't have any relationship with BM's father because they were filling my son's head full of crap and regularly calling me and telling me how to raise my son. I send them letters through a P.O. box with pictures. We may visit in the next year or so but, so far it has been great for my son. He is like a new child. No bashing needed, I honestly don't give a crap what most of you have to say. :)
    matthewscandi

    Answer by matthewscandi at 9:50 PM on Jul. 7, 2011

  • we have four visits a year, and now that he is older he will talk to her more, and I let her attend some special events. COurt ordered in the adoption
    2aremine

    Answer by 2aremine at 10:07 PM on Jul. 7, 2011

  • We do. We only wanted no more than three visits a year, but the way things happened, that just isn't the way it worked out. We have five visits a year.

    February
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    AllAboutKeeley

    Answer by AllAboutKeeley at 10:07 PM on Jul. 7, 2011

  • PP's: How do you feel about the court-ordered visits? Do the children enjoy them, look forward to them? Are they stressful visits? Do they cause anxiety for the children before or melt-downs afterward? Is your relationship with mom a good one?
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 10:14 PM on Jul. 7, 2011

  • Well, our adoption of DD was domestic infant through an agency, so I really don't know how much I can answer your questions. We would not have court ordered visits...that's just a thing through foster care and foster care adoptions, correct? Although we've had some bumps along the way, we have a very good relationship with BMom and her family at this time. But if there was any negatives concerning DD when it comes to visits, it would definitely be looked into. Although we do like the BFamily, these visits are for DD...and if they are actually doing her harm, well, then they won't continue...simple as that.

    I think if I were in a case to where a judge said we had to do visits and it really wasn't good for DD, I would get her counseling and have a professional say so and present that to the judge to at the very least cut down on the frequency or length of time of the visits.
    AllAboutKeeley

    Answer by AllAboutKeeley at 11:42 PM on Jul. 7, 2011

  • We don't have any face to face visits with either of the kids' birth families. Both were adopted at birth. I would love to have in person visits but neither one wanted them. Hopefully in the future, though! We did spend a lot of time with DD's family before her birth and a little bit with DS's (got the call after he was already born) before we came home. We do have constant facebook contact with DS's birthfamily (both sides), and sporadic email contact with DD's birthmom and birthfather's mom. In both cases I wouldn't want to try to push them into something they aren't emotionally ready for, but I love them all, they're part of my family and would love to see them at any time.
    ZoeyBethsMomma

    Answer by ZoeyBethsMomma at 9:49 PM on Jul. 8, 2011

  • We adopted embryos anonymously through an infertility clinic. We have no contact with my sons' genetic family. We have medical info but know nothing more about them than that.

    JSD24

    Answer by JSD24 at 2:03 PM on Jul. 9, 2011

  • no but we did learn about Respectful Adoption Language in preparation for the adoption. 'Natural Mother' is a disrespectful and inflammatory term. The preferred terms are birth mother or first mother.
    Suzy_Sunshine

    Answer by Suzy_Sunshine at 7:57 PM on Jul. 10, 2011

  • Suzy_Sunshine, really? I wonder why that is? (Re: ..."Natural Mother" is a disrespectful and inflammaroty term. The preferred terms are birth mother or first mother."
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 8:00 PM on Jul. 10, 2011

  • Quoting Susy_Sunshine-"no but we did learn about Respectful Adoption Language in preparation for the adoption. 'Natural Mother' is a disrespectful and inflammatory term. The preferred terms are birth mother or first mother."

    Really? I wonder why that is?

    AllAboutKeeley, yes it is foster care. I should have said that. Thank you for your replies.
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 8:36 PM on Jul. 10, 2011

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