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2 Bumps

Why shouldn't a man help care for the woman who is pregnant with his child?

My brother is 22 and has a 19 year old girl pregnant. She is currently living with my because she had to quite her job because she was put on bed rest, she is 26 weeks along. Now, she also goes to school online and gets government grants for that plus she is getting disability because of the bed rest so she can cover all her personal needs, she just couldn't afford her apartment and her own family doesn't have room for her. But when she needs something (like a prescription filled) I call my brother and he seems to think it's not his job to do things for her! Really, she is carrying his child! Now he is getting better about it because I explained to him that he will have no rights to this child until the court awards them and that could take more then 6 months but a lot of his friends and some other family members act like he owes her nothing. He lives with our mom and she has told him that he needs to call her every day to see if she needs anything and if she wants something like ice cream at 2 am, he had BETTER find a store open 24/7 (she has never asked him to but that's just an example). I think they will probably end up getting back together (is has only been 6 weeks since they broke up) but either way, I think my brother should do anything he can to help keep her comfortable. Am I wrong?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 9:49 PM on Jul. 7, 2011 in Relationships

Answers (12)
  • your brother is being an ass. you are correct.

    Answer by dragonlady320 at 9:52 PM on Jul. 7, 2011

  • I agree. Maybe not with catering to her every need or want. But helping with RXs and anything else she needs to grow HIS healthy baby, yes. Its his responsibility as much as hers to be sure that little blessing has the best start to life as possible.

    Answer by mlmkjw at 9:54 PM on Jul. 7, 2011

  • Your absolutely correct.

    Answer by Princess_s21 at 9:55 PM on Jul. 7, 2011

  • Yes, he should! But of course, if he were a real gentleman, he never would have gotten her pregnant. However, you said he is 22, and the girl is 19. Both are very young, and maybe a little immature. Boys tend to mature later that girls, and the mother to be will have to grow up real fast now. So it is possible that your brother isn't being an ass, so much as he is being a child. Maybe he is just ignorant, or scared. You could try to talk to him, and explain the situation. It sounds like you already have, buy guys don't always hear us the first six times. You may need to "teach" him. Call him up and tell him that the mother of his child needs him to bring her a single rose. Call him up another day and tell him that he needs to bring her a box of chocolates. Then, one weekend, take him with you as you "shop" for a crib or baby outfit. You will help to make this all more real to him. Help him see the child as a blessing.

    Answer by LoreleiSieja at 9:56 PM on Jul. 7, 2011

  • mlmkjw, I don't think that he should literally wait on her hand and foot but if he wants to see his child before he legally has rights to, he wants to be called when she goes into labor and he wants updates on the pregnancy, and she has done all of that so far, including giving him ultrasound pics which to me is her going above and beyond what she HAS to do so why shouldn't he go above and beyond what he HAS to do, especially because she is on bed rest and can't go get anything for herself.

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 9:59 PM on Jul. 7, 2011

  • he's acting irresponsibly and like a you know what. ...hopefully he'll start listening to your advice and smarten up and start learing responsibility and care by being there for her and the baby.

    Answer by iheartsquishies at 10:30 PM on Jul. 7, 2011

  • you are right. its his responsibility 2 help take care of her because she is pregnant with his child. u would think he would want 2 help more. he had better man up & get responsible before the baby get here!

    Answer by ciaras_mom_05 at 11:19 PM on Jul. 7, 2011

  • He sound pretty immature. Both are very young. I hope things work out for both of them. It's hard when you are young.

    Answer by JCRestoredme at 1:16 AM on Jul. 8, 2011

  • You are right, your brother has to 'man-up' and realize that baby is part his, and as such he is responsible for helping out financially and doing what he can to make sure she is comfortable and be supportive.

    Answer by MizLee at 1:43 AM on Jul. 8, 2011

  • Your right and a good hearted person

    Answer by Helen2004 at 1:46 AM on Jul. 8, 2011

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