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4 Bumps

Any advice about my marriage?

Well, my DH has taken all money out of the bank account and placed it in another with only his name on it. Cancelled all credit cards/ATM...everything.

I literally have 75 cents to my name.

I'm a stay at home mother, and as of today, I'm looking for a new job. I've spoken with a lawyer to see if I could prove abuse charges (mentally). I can't.

He has taken my cell phone, my home phone, and turned internet off during the day (he's a system admin). The only way I have internet connection now, is because my neighbor let me log on her connection. He's cut out all source of communication with the world and told me once I do as he says, he'll give it back.

Do I stay until I get a job then leave?
I also found his pin on his card because it was laying on the counter, should I take his card, withdraw cash and leave? Is it illegal?

Obviously, he's a control freak and I know that.

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 10:07 PM on Jul. 7, 2011 in Relationships

Answers (24)
  • Wow. I think you should probably call the police dept and see what your rights are. But, techniquely, he's stealing from you, so why can't you take the money back??
    I hope someone else knows better for you on this one! Sorry....but heres a bump. Good luck!
    mlmkjw

    Answer by mlmkjw at 10:10 PM on Jul. 7, 2011

  • oh wow, do you have family that you can go to for help? Someone you can stay with until you get a job, sounds like an awful situation! Sorry your going through this and that he is awful enough to think its ok to control you like that just because he is the one earning the money, I can not stand that. ((hugs))
    Princess_s21

    Answer by Princess_s21 at 10:12 PM on Jul. 7, 2011

  • U are married to him honey. Whatever is his is yours. I am so sorry.
    emmyandlisa

    Answer by emmyandlisa at 10:12 PM on Jul. 7, 2011

  • sounds like he could be hiding something, and yes a control freak. You can seek a woman's shelter, they can tell anyone you are there. Or do you have a friend or relative you could stay at? Get a job, while searching, make a to-do list of what you will need, and need to do, get as much done quitely, and jet!
    2aremine

    Answer by 2aremine at 10:13 PM on Jul. 7, 2011

  • That sounds like a scary situation. It's only a matter of time before he nails the windows and doors shut. I'd figure out a way to get out ASAP. But be careful. If he is this much of a control freak he could be monitoring your internet use and might figure out what you're up to. Delete your history and use your neighbor's computer as much as you can.
    beckcorc

    Answer by beckcorc at 10:15 PM on Jul. 7, 2011

  • ATM machines usually have a daily limit, so you may not be able to get as much as you need. It sounds like you really need to speak to a divorce lawyer. Do you have any friends and family near by that can help you? You may want to consider going to a woman's advocacy group for advice.
    blueberry1

    Answer by blueberry1 at 10:15 PM on Jul. 7, 2011

  • Read this book..It saves alot of marriages. explains personalities and how to deal with them..good luck!

    The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love That Lasts
    josie726

    Answer by josie726 at 10:17 PM on Jul. 7, 2011

  • i agree with going to a woman's shelter. i went to one and they had a pro bono lawyer (FREE) and all sorts of stuff. let me stay 2 months til i got some money saved up. look for your local woman's shelter. the cops can even pick you up. PLEASE BE CAREFUL POSTING STUFF ON YOUR COMPUTER! he could read it and that would lead to all sorts of bad things. post from your friends computer. call from a trusted friends phone. or even go to your local hospital. they can all help. good luck.
    motheroprincess

    Answer by motheroprincess at 10:18 PM on Jul. 7, 2011

  • No friends, no family here where I live. All of them are close to 8-10 hours away.
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 10:20 PM on Jul. 7, 2011

  • leave. go to a family's home, shelter or friends place. cut off all contact with him, get a protective order. file for divorce. these are the first signs of abuse. get out. take only the things you can carry. take paperwork, documents, prescriptions, your id...things like that. confide in someone what is going on and go to the police. once you are somewhere safe...call the bank and tell them what is going on. if you go to a shelter, they cannot and will not give any info out. and they have tons and tons of info and resources to help you out. most important thing is to get you and your kids out of there and dont look back. please stay safe.
    iheartsquishies

    Answer by iheartsquishies at 10:20 PM on Jul. 7, 2011

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