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4 Bumps

Not understanding these feelings.

I have been with my husband since I was 17, we have two kids, we are married and in our mid twenties now. I love my husband, always have and I have been faithful and loyal to him all this time..we have had our ups and downs but have managed. Here's the thing though...lately I've been having these odd feelings, feelings of wanting to be with another man, of kissing another one in particular though. This is making me sick to my stomach, I feel nauseous when I have these thoughts because I feel like I'm betraying my husband and my marriage in some way. I don't understand, what is going on with me?!?! Is it some kind of "marriage itch"? Has anyone been thru something like this? I would never be unfaithful to my husband but these thoughts are making me feel like I am :(


Asked by Anonymous at 11:20 PM on Jul. 7, 2011 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (5)
  • I think it's just the feeling of not having experienced anyone else before. It's natural for you to wonder and maybe it may have been something you could have addressed before you got married so young. If you're genuinely happy in your marriage aside from this, I would say to try something new with the husband to get your mind off of it. It could be a new hobby together, new sexual experiences like role playing, or changing your routines up a bit. Maybe you need to see other sides of him to fulfill this need. Oftentimes, we're stuck in a routine and see only one side of our partner due to this. If you take a dancing class together, would his more passionate side come out? Explore all of his sides. If you feel something might be missing, it's a bigger issue that maybe he's not addressing one area for you and you should give him a chance to before taking any drastic actions.

    Answer by hellokittykat at 1:42 AM on Jul. 8, 2011

  • I've been with the same person from age 14, so I can kind of relate. I am sure it is the fact that you have been with someone your entire life and don't really know what it is like to be with someone else. Kind of like you missed out on that experience, maybe? What has helped me through those few times I've "wondered" was looking at my girlfriends struggle in the dating pool with loser after loser, and realize that I don't want to deal with that. It makes me happy to have the man I have. LOL

    Answer by Mom-2-3-Girlz at 11:25 PM on Jul. 7, 2011

  • Maybe you feel like something is lacking in your marriage? I'm not necessarily talking sex but emotionally maybe? Do you guys spend 1 on 1 time together?

    Answer by emmyandlisa at 11:26 PM on Jul. 7, 2011

  • its normal to feel that way... but why are you feeling that way? is he attentive to your needs? its all in your head the fantasy and your hormones are playing with you... I can't say that it didn't happen to me a long time ago... it was because we weren't one on one in the relationship. hellokittykat had some good ideas. when you start feeling like that girl... start praying it goes away.

    Answer by miamoma at 12:49 PM on Jul. 8, 2011

  • it is totally normal and even healthy to have fantasies especially being with one person for so long you start to wonder if the grass is greener on the other side but as long as you dont act on these feelings then no harm no foul and i bet that your husband even has the same thoughts from time to time i bet that 90% of mrried people go through this its normal

    Answer by MommylovsdawsoN at 12:48 AM on Jul. 12, 2011