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Does anyone feel like they didn't bond well with one of their children when they were born?

I had a baby that was in the nicu for 1 week. I know I was very lucky. I didn't get to see her for the first 1-2 days I was in icu. I love her to death but feel like we don't have the same bond/ connection as my other one that I got to see shortly after. I wish that feeling would go away.

 
Amr515

Asked by Amr515 at 12:25 AM on Jul. 8, 2011 in General Parenting

Level 17 (4,278 Credits)
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Answers (5)
  • Exactly like you. My son was an emergency C-section and was whisked to the "special Care" nursery where the nurses could keep a closer eye on him. They also gave him those [insert all swear words here] little 1oz bottles of formula that drip when you turn them upside down instead of getting me to try and nurse him LIKE I TOLD THEM TO DO. I also had to go home without him because he wasn't nursing as well as they would have liked. Yeah, I'm still pissed about all that and he'll be 8 in Oct.

    My daughter was a planned C-section and was able to stay in the room with me the whole time. I've always felt a closer bond to her than her brother.
    Rosehawk

    Answer by Rosehawk at 12:33 AM on Jul. 8, 2011

  • I feel the same way my son was rushed to the NICU also right after birth. I wasn't able to hold him for a few days and then they kept him for 2 weeks. We lost valuable and crucial bonding time that we still struggle with today and he is 6. I thought I was a bad mom for feeling that way but I guess I'm not the only one that feels this way. At first I thought he didn't even look like my baby and I didn't want him :( he had to grow on me which breaks my heart because every night I would sing to him while I was pregnant and we would play with eachother I would push my belly and he would push back it was really cute.
    myownhappiness

    Answer by myownhappiness at 12:38 AM on Jul. 8, 2011

  • YES, THEY RUSHED MY NOY TO THE INCUBATOR BECAUSE HE TURNED BLUE! I DID NOT SEE HIM TILL THE WHOLE DAY LATER! WAS PRETTY WEIRD NOT HOLDING AND BONDING FOR THE FIRST TIME AFTER BIRTH! THE FEELING PASSES! NO WORRIES...

    JOSIE All Natural Artistry Skin Care
    josie726

    Answer by josie726 at 12:40 AM on Jul. 8, 2011

  • when my son was born via C-section I went into cardiac arrest and was whisked away to a bigger hospital until stable.....I never saw my son and only had my dh to tell me the details while our son was at the hospital he was born at and I was at a larger hospital. the scary part was a heart unit does not have a clue how to care for someone who has had major surgery ... by the time we all were back home it was hard for me to bond but eventually we did and we are now very close 6 yrs later
    alotleft2do

    Answer by alotleft2do at 1:12 AM on Jul. 8, 2011

  • My oldest son was born via emergency C-Section almost 25 years ago and he was almost 24 hours old before I saw him for the first time. His brothers I saw as soon as they were born. I always felt like I bonded more with them than with him. We now have a bond but it took a lot of time for one to develop.
    tracylynnr67

    Answer by tracylynnr67 at 11:03 PM on Jul. 8, 2011