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Will he ever marry me?

Ok long story short, we have 3 kids together, 8 yrs in the relationship and about 4 yrs living together...so why wont he marry me? i asked him and the only thing he said was that he needed to be sure our relationship was a stable one.... what does he mean? and he knows how important it is for me to get married... i think its important to any woman.....

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 2:15 AM on Jul. 8, 2011 in Relationships

Answers (11)
  • It's hard to know for sure what is going on in his head, but if after 3 kids, 8 years together, and 4 years in the same house, if he doesn't feel the relationship is stable, chances are he's never going to. Consider not "asking" him why he won't make that commitment, but rather telling him what you really NEED from the relationship. Thinking that he knows is really just an assumption, and you have to spell it out sometimes. Good luck to you...when I started dating my hubby and knew he was the one I would marry (after 4 months), I told him if we were still together in 5 years, we better be married. It took him 4 :)
    terirose22

    Answer by terirose22 at 2:25 AM on Jul. 8, 2011

  • He can bring 3 kids into a relationship he's not sure about but can't bring marriage into it, how hurtful. On one hand I want to say he's immature but there are men who are truly worried that marriage will change a relationship. My brother did this to his now wife, but it was because he didn't agree with the huge wedding she wanted. It's hard to say what your bf is thinking, but if it's important to you and he loves you, he should make it a priority or quit stringing you along.
    Ashes0813

    Answer by Ashes0813 at 2:55 AM on Jul. 8, 2011

  • A couple of years ago I would have said "No way he is going to marry you, if he wanted to, he would have asked by now" But there was a girl I knew that was with a guy 9 yrs with no kids that I thought the same thing about who ended up marrying him a year later. But we have to remember that there are exceptions and there are rules. Not everybody can be the exception. Do YOU want to be with somebody who doesn't find 3 kids and an 8 yr relationship stable?
    HollyBoBolly

    Answer by HollyBoBolly at 3:41 AM on Jul. 8, 2011

  • truthfully i don't think he wants to hurt you by telling you he has no interest in marrying you. if he really wanted that type of commitment he would have asked a long time ago. I'd just forget about it and not bring it up to him again.
    CEWarsop

    Answer by CEWarsop at 4:27 AM on Jul. 8, 2011

  • No I do not believe he will. I think he is either just afraid of marriage all together or I am sorry to say he is just keeping you around
    because he is to scared to call it off. I stayed in a relationship 10 years thinking that he would one day! It never happened and
    we split.
    meme699

    Answer by meme699 at 5:58 AM on Jul. 8, 2011

  • I can only guess how many times you have brought up marriage in 8 years. Ask him what he meant by waiting to see if the relationship is stable.
    treynlisa

    Answer by treynlisa at 6:08 AM on Jul. 8, 2011

  • Look up the laws concerning common-law marriage in your state. You might already be married.
    Dr.Donna

    Answer by Dr.Donna at 7:15 AM on Jul. 8, 2011

  • "I'm waiting to find out if this is a stable relationship" is Jerk Code for "Logically I know there's almost no chance of random hotties wandering by just drunk enough to want to manhandle my dangle, but just in case that DOES happen, I want to stay single. Yes, I realize that I have three kids with someone, but parts of my brain don't associate Kids with Stability, they only associate Married with Stability. No, I didn't live under power lines as a child."

    My opinion is, eventually the hammer's going to drop and he's going to realize that he is currently IN a productive, stable relationship and basically married and at that point he's either going to ask you to formalize things, or he'll claim that nothing need be done because if it ain't broke, don't fix it.
    Fistandantalus

    Answer by Fistandantalus at 7:57 AM on Jul. 8, 2011

  • My friend just asked me this same question. I think he may feel like there is not a need to get married because ya'll are already acting married and he doesnt want a paper to haev to say so. Men are a little different than us. I do not think that they understand that we want the family the marrieage and everythign else that comes with it. Its not fair. I do not understand what he means by making sure that the relationship was a stable one. I mean ya'll been together for years and that hasnt shown him that ya'll are stable. WOW. Good luck dear.
    1sexymother

    Answer by 1sexymother at 9:01 AM on Jul. 8, 2011

  • No he will not marry you. He allready has what he want from you. 3 kids and you living with him for 4 years. "Why buy the cow when you get the milk for free"
    louise2

    Answer by louise2 at 9:05 AM on Jul. 8, 2011

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