Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

4 Bumps

Whose "side" would you be on ?

So my husband being a jerk is nothing new...he does have alot of good qualities but he has always had that jerky grouch personality going on.

Apparently girls really do marry men who are like their dads, because my dad is also a jerk ( but also has some good qualities) ... right now after 25 years of marriage, he and my mom are having problems and my dad took money out of her account...( which isnt something new, but this time he took it all out) ...

My mom asked us if she could borrow $200 until her next pay ... that was fine because not only does my husband now have a great job to where he makes EXTRA money we also had alot of money put back to save ( for christmas and in case we needed it) ...

2 weeks later she got payed and wrote us a check, which then bounced.... my took had taken money out of her account again, leaving her negative 500 . ( she even has a password thing on her account so he couldnt take anymore, but he was still able to) ...

So now my husband is being a jerk, he texts her saying he wants the money... he keeps being a jerk to me saying I have to call and tell her he needs it today ...I will say no, I am not going to call and tell her that, because I know she doesnt have it...he then turns into an even bigger ass and makes me feel like this is something that happens all the time or something....

My parents both have good jobs... my mom is a nurse and my dad makes over $40/hour ... it just happens that my dad is bad with money and has sunk money into his farm, and now is "stealing" money from my moms account.... my mom is so upset and told me she feels like a loser that she has to borrow money from her child....which then makes me feel horrible that my husband is even doing this....... when we were first married and my husband barely made any money my parents basically supported us - they let us live with them for free, whenever our baby needed anything, they would get it, no questions asked.... and up until my husband got this good job, if we needed anything, my parents would help us out.....

and it makes me sooooo mad becuase we do not need that money... my husband wants it to go buy some clothes...even though he just bought some last weekend !!!!!

It makes me so sick to my stomach over how selfish he is being ... his parents has borrowed money from us before ( several times) ... and when it was time for them to pay us back they would borrow more.... because they would spend their money on support his druggie deadbeat brother or buying lottery tickets... and would have to wait until they won before they could pay us back... but hey, that is A-OK ... and they havent even done half of what my parents has done for us....

so yeah today I will call my mom about the money like he wanted... but I am not going to tell her to have it ready... I am going to tell her to not worry about it !

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 7:21 AM on Jul. 8, 2011 in Relationships

Answers (9)
  • I know how she feels so I would be on her side and tell your husband he will get it back soon. Um she sould leave that account open and get one he does not know about.
    pinkdragon36

    Answer by pinkdragon36 at 7:30 AM on Jul. 8, 2011

  • What an ass. I agree with what you are going to do. He shouldn't even say a word......but all men have to be in control somehow. You know she will pay you back and that is all that matters.
    pregers2011

    Answer by pregers2011 at 7:36 AM on Jul. 8, 2011

  • I agree and I would probably talk with my DH and tell him that she will pay us back when she can. Then I would tell my mother to open another account. If your dad is not on the new account he won't be able to take money from it. Good Luck!
    cornflakegirl3

    Answer by cornflakegirl3 at 7:39 AM on Jul. 8, 2011

  • well I am going to tell her she doesnt even have to pay it back.... she has spent well over $200 on us in just the last couple of years...and it sint like she didnt try to, she wrote us a check, but she didnt know my dad had already took money out again .... It just makes me so mad becuase my husband acts like my mom is some loser or something who has to borrow money all the time... this is the only time she has..

    I am really thinking of just taking the kids and going to go stay with my mom for the weekend to show him what an ass he is being and whose side I am on !
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 7:41 AM on Jul. 8, 2011

  • I would not go against my husband and tell my mom not to worry about it. The money is not just yours. I would tell your mom to get it to you as soon as possible and let my husband know it might take a little bit while she gets the bank straightened out.
    treynlisa

    Answer by treynlisa at 7:55 AM on Jul. 8, 2011

  • Maybe you should remind your husband of all the meals, diapers, etc, that your mom has helped you out with, and the fact that they never asked to be repaid, this is her "hard times" and she needs some help now.
    kustomkrochet

    Answer by kustomkrochet at 8:20 AM on Jul. 8, 2011

  • I agree that your husband is being an ass about this! I think it is time to tell him to 'back off' and stop hounding mom for the money-- when clearly she does not have it to pay back at this time, and he is not in dire need of it at this time. I would also remind him of all the times mom helped out-- like living rent free, buying things for his family..... and let him know that lending mom that money is the LEAST he could do to repay her for her kindness! I would also remind him that HE thought it was ok to give his parents money, (and clearly their situation was not as needy as hers theirs was for selfish reasons) and HE had never made a bit issue about making his parents pay him back. I hope he will see that your mom is in a tough spot right now, and he will have more sympathy and patience with the whole situation.
    I would also suggest to mom that she transfer her $ to a new bank, and in her name only! Good luck!!
    MizLee

    Answer by MizLee at 8:43 AM on Jul. 8, 2011

  • I totally agree your husband is going overboard. He sounds like a child whining that someone else has his toy. If she doesn't have it she does not have it and normally I would say spouse and children are above all but in this case it's a different story. Your mother needs help and if the bills are paid and there is food in your home, everything will be fine until she gets the money.

    There is not much I think is worth of going against my husband for but if he tried this he'd find out quickly it would not go his way.
    wildflowers25

    Answer by wildflowers25 at 11:00 AM on Jul. 8, 2011

  • Start stashing a little of it away. Divorce is in your future. You see your mom. Would you stay with your dad if he was your husband?
    isabellalecour

    Answer by isabellalecour at 3:31 PM on Jul. 8, 2011

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.