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3 Bumps

Am I Needy?

Is anyone else's DH not an overly affectionate man? I never really noticed it before, but we have been going through a rough patch lately and fighting a lot and now I notice when he won't kiss me whn he leaves for work or before bed, or really anytime, unless he's trying to 'get some.' So while it never bothered me before, now I am interpreting his lack of affection as him being mad at me or losing interest, blah, blah, blah. Am I being overly needy or does this make sense? Someone please tell me I am being needy so I can stop being so paranoid! Thanks :)


Asked by Anonymous at 8:32 AM on Jul. 8, 2011 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (14)
  • Doesn't sound like it :( my husband is trying to make up for "mistakes" and smothers me. I cant stand it.

    Answer by sugamama3 at 8:37 AM on Jul. 8, 2011

  • Occasionally, my hubby goes through a personality change that affects our relationship negatively. It is then I take time to pray that God will restore to me the man I married. And He does.

    Answer by CoffeeWriter at 8:42 AM on Jul. 8, 2011

  • Well if he was this way before then there is nothing wrong except for NOW you have a problem with it. Stop waiting for him to kiss you and kiss him...maybe he sees it the same way you do as YOU not being affectioniate. Talk to him tell him that you really could use some affection right now..he's a man they usually don't care as much as we do.


    Answer by happymama02 at 8:42 AM on Jul. 8, 2011

  • OMG you just described my husband to a tee!!!! He hardly ever shows any affection or anything unless he wants sex or something out of it then he can't leave his hands off me and it makes me furious. He doesn't even hug and kiss me before he leaves for work or when he gets home and it is frustrating. I thought I was the only one that had a husband that was this way.

    I interpret it the same way as you do and question myself all the time but have noticed that it is him that doesn't want intimacy unless it benefits him. I don't know what to tell you because I am in the same boat except maybe try and talk to him and see if he will open up about it. Good luck and God Bless

    Answer by Christmaslver68 at 10:18 AM on Jul. 8, 2011

  • my man is barely affectionate. he has his moments where he can be the lovey dovey wrap his arms around you n kiss you all over kind of man but he doesnt kiss me n say goodnight like he used to when we first got together. ... i wouldnt say you needy, but you want assurance that he still loves you the way he did before

    Answer by juggalo_mommi at 11:46 AM on Jul. 8, 2011

  • So he usually does not do these things? Then nothing is wrong with him then.

    Answer by louise2 at 8:42 AM on Jul. 8, 2011

  • I don't think I would like being smothered either, which is why I can't figure out why I am so desperate for his attention right now. But every time he leaves the house in the morning and he gives me a half hug, or a kiss on the forehead, I interpret it as something else.

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 8:43 AM on Jul. 8, 2011

  • Sounds like you are realizing there is something missing in your marriage and if you want it to survive you had better do something about it... You guys had better talk about it. Maybe get some marriage counseling

    Answer by itsmesteph11 at 9:10 AM on Jul. 8, 2011

  • My husband isn't an overly affectionate man either. I might get a hug when he gets home from work and a kiss in the morning but other than that, that's about all the affection I get. When we first started dating we'd have pretty good make out sessions and now we don't even kiss during sex. It does drive me nuts, it'd be nice to have a little more foreplay rather than rub, rub, hump, hump...goodnight.....

    Answer by Boxxy at 9:18 AM on Jul. 8, 2011

  • I'm the unaffectionate one, so my opinion is that he's focused on other things and he's forgetting to do the little nice things. I didn't realize I was not kissing or hugging my husband very much until he mentioned it. So I don't think you're overly needy, but I do think you should mention it in a nice way, he may not realize what he's not doing!

    Answer by Fistandantalus at 9:40 AM on Jul. 8, 2011