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Its hard to show any appreciation right now

My hubs when we first got together and for a few years into our marriage he was the type of hubs that pulled his weight around the house as well as financially. we have both always worked and so when it was me workin and he was home he would make sure things where clean. food was ready when i came home from work. he would feed and bathe the children. and just have every thing in order so that all i had to do was chill. And i in turn would do the same for him we worked as a team and and all was well.
Now He does nothing he does not wash close or dishes he dose not clean anything he dose not take out the trash he does not have a job he is the exact opposite of the person i fell in love with
dont get me wrong there are more reasons other than these that i got with my hubs but he did win me by being that kind of man.
Now he just sits in front of the computer all day on face book or watching porn or looking up jokes. doing nothing at all to bring himself out of the rut that hes in that has become my job and so has everything else im the cook im the cleaner im the washer am the feeder im the bather im the employed plus im supposed to keep him in a good mood. and if any of these things is not being done to his standards im criticized im a lousy mother cook caretaker . i cant go on like this

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Asked by Anonymous at 9:59 AM on Jul. 8, 2011 in Relationships

Answers (5)
  • He sounds depressed.

    Answer by pookiekins34 at 10:04 AM on Jul. 8, 2011

  • well the first thing i would do is try setting down with him and talking about some of your concerns. maybe talk about counceling. word it in a way he thinks its not all about him. if he refuses then you need to starting talking about how things need to start changing or reprocusions will happen. show him things he use to care about will be gone if not changed.

    Answer by irishheart4036 at 10:09 AM on Jul. 8, 2011

  • It definitely sounds like depression. I have been in your shoes, and it is hard mama...His ego is shot because he's "not providing". I am still the main breadwinner and household manager. Talk to him soon and I wish you luck!

    Answer by Dahis at 10:18 AM on Jul. 8, 2011

  • he sounds like he's slumped into depression.. I would consider discussing your concerns for his health.. he will definitely need some counseling.. but it sounds like depression.
    At home, perhaps you can try giving him a day or two of special time just for him.. do things he likes, get him out of the house! Get him moving around, seeing old friends.. a nice douse of healthy sex, and see if that motivates him..

    Answer by xxhazeldovexx at 10:38 AM on Jul. 8, 2011

  • gosh..sounds like me n u are one in the same. for 9 or so months my bf didn't have a job n he was the same way. he would occasionally look for a job, but most of the time sit n be on the computer. he would tidy up now n then n i would make sure to say thanks, but gets old having to do it all. right now our computer at home is off cuz i couldn't afford to pay the bill, but i think i am just gonna keep it off. makes for more time for us. but i would be telling him how u feel. no reason for u to be treated that way.

    Answer by goofygalno1 at 12:24 PM on Jul. 8, 2011

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