Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

1 Bump

Choosing which kind of custody agreement to go with.

I haven't made any moves yet or spoken to a lawyer or anything. I'm just curious what other mom's reasons were for choosing sole custody, sole with visitiation, joint custody, or any other agreements I don't know about. I don't want to keep my son from his father, but as far as things like medical decisions, health insurance, a roof over our head, etc, it has always been me. His father doesn't even know the name of our son's pediatrician and doesn't like to take him because "he can't stand waiting". This is just an example. I don't want to seem like a selfish witch if I choose to do sole with visitation, but I am very, very torn as to how to even approach it. I KNOW if I don't do joint, I will get an earful and a half and probably be called some pretty harsh names. Any and all experiences/advice is greatly appreciated! :)

Answer Question

Asked by DJsMommy610 at 11:21 AM on Jul. 8, 2011 in General Parenting

Level 18 (5,935 Credits)
Answers (5)
  • I was blessed never to have to make those decisions, I just wanted to say good luck mama! And a bump for you!

    Answer by Dahis at 11:25 AM on Jul. 8, 2011

  • We have every other weekend and a week in the summer.

    Answer by zoejains_momma at 11:26 AM on Jul. 8, 2011

  • when I say we I mean I have full custody and he sees the kids every other weekend and during the summer but can come visit them here whenever it works for both of us

    Answer by zoejains_momma at 11:29 AM on Jul. 8, 2011

  • you dont get to pick, the judge will give you joint, probably with you having managing conservatorship (kid lives with you) and dad having every other weekend, Wednesday nights from 6-9, every other major holidiay and dad getting one month to six weeks every summer, unless he or you ask for something different, if you ask for sole custody you will have to prove why your ex does not deserve to make decisions in his child's life, very hard to do these days, lack of previous interest is not ss's bio mom got joint custody of the other child she abandoned for a year, they didnt even know where she was AND she had already lost custody and most rights to my ss (we had an awesome lawyer and CPS on our side) thankfully we dont have to allow her to see ss until he chooses on his own, but his poor brother has to leave the security of his dad at age 3 to go visit a mom he doesnt know for 6 weeks in August...good luck

    Answer by shivasgirl at 11:48 AM on Jul. 8, 2011

  • Not sure where you live but usually you don't get to choose unless you both agree. Usually it is a judge who decides what the custody will be.

    My ex and I have joint custody but since we live in different states I usually get to make all the decisions anyway because my son lives with me. If it were anything major, I would of course consult with him first because he is his father. As far as visits, he gets him over the summer.

    Answer by MrsMWF at 12:51 PM on Jul. 8, 2011

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.