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Is it wrong...

My SO's ex told my SO that she is happy for him and I..she does not support our relationship and she is jealous but she hopes things are good for us. They are in the middle of getting a divorce. I felt kinda glad she's jealous only because he was always comparing me to her and his relationship with her to our relationship...he no longer does that,but he always made her sound sooo wonderful. Their marriage ended on good terms they are still friends,but she also has it in her head that i can't clue why he says he has never said anything about my cooking skills but he told me my spaghetti and meatballs and my mashed potatoes are WAY better then hers. I know it's not a competition but she has also tried to put her 2 cents in to our relationship and that pisses me off so I get pleasure out of one upping her and knowing she's jealous. I picked her up fro the hospital the other day..she had surgery and we were talking about how picky of an eater he is and I told her I have not had any problems he always likes what I make...the look on her face was priceless...I feel bad for getting pleasure out of all of it...she is a nice person except she doesn'tknow when to shut her mouth and for that reason i find myself totally not liking her. I tried she was okay in the beginning but after a while enough is enough. it's actually starting to cross the line. I came home the other night from being gone for a week. she asked how my night back home was if him and I had fun with our alone time together and the way she said it it was like asking how the sex was...she dis the same thing with him when his son wanted to stay the night the night I was coming back she said no because him and I want alone time together and said to him isn't that right? She also told him if we want we can come live with her for a little while until we find a cheaper place and we could have the master bedroom since the upstairs room is a loft that way we wouldn't have to worry when we have's just weird...right?

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Asked by happymama02 at 11:46 AM on Jul. 8, 2011 in Relationships

Level 16 (3,162 Credits)
Answers (7)
  • I find it absolutely weird that you two even talk to her at all. Unless they have kids in common, even so the contact would be minimal at best. I think that now that she is "involved" in your lives she won't see how she crossed the line, seeing as there doesn't seem to be one in the first place. I would talk to your SO and ask him what he wants in this relationship or if there is a reason to still have so much contact with her. It isn't healthy and could come to bite you on the ass later. Good Luck.

    Answer by Bugzmomma at 11:52 AM on Jul. 8, 2011

  • Yeah we have talked and he has seen that he did have her too involved in the beginning and he doesnt talk to her on that level anymore but it doesnt stop her from trying.

    Comment by happymama02 (original poster) at 11:56 AM on Jul. 8, 2011

  • I would try to keep in mind that her marriage with him has failed and he is now with you . . there is no reason for you to feel competitive or happy about her being jealous. She is the one who got the short end of the stick. I would feel bad for her, actually.

    There is something that I call "The Evil Ex-Wife Syndrome". This is where the new wife just despises the ex wife no matter what the circumstances were/are. The ex is always weird, evil, hateful or just had a multitude of problems. For some reason, this syndrome shows itself in almost every second or third marriage. It is a female competition thing.

    Don't let the syndrome bite you up. But, you don't HAVE to be friend with her, and you SO should never compare you. That's feeding the syndrome.

    Answer by ImaginationMama at 11:56 AM on Jul. 8, 2011

  • Umm yeah, she sounds a little off....You guys probably need to cut ties with her as much as possible. Neither of you talk to her about anything other than communication about the son.

    Answer by CollinsMommy729 at 11:57 AM on Jul. 8, 2011

  • Yea its very weird

    Answer by susaninman at 11:57 AM on Jul. 8, 2011

  • I tried being her firend which I would be fine with if she would leave my SO, her ex out of the converstation but she always finds a way to bring him in. We will be doing holidays over there..I know also wierd but I have no family here anymore..they moved and they have kids together so it just makes more sence. so I wanted to try and have some kind of good relationship with her so it won;t make it such a weird thing.

    Comment by happymama02 (original poster) at 12:02 PM on Jul. 8, 2011

  • Im sorry but nothing about any of you sounds normal. First time a man compared me to his ex, I would be out of there. She needs to be out of your life completely and it's your BF's job to set those boundaries, and if he doesn't, then you know he isn't worth shit

    Answer by Zakysmommy at 12:37 PM on Jul. 8, 2011

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